Snakes, Snails, and Puppy-dog Tails

Our month of family home evenings: faith and testimony

2012-01-31T07:31:00.000-08:00

This month we chose to focus on Faith and Testimony. I already posted what we did the first week. It was on building faith. The second week was on building our testimonies. We discussed how our faith can help us build our testimonies. We cut out rectangle pieces of paper and on each paper wrote different aspects of the Gospel (Joseph Smith, prayer, scriptures, Word of Wisdom, etc.). Then we colored them like bricks and the boys each chose a brick to tape to the wall. They each chose until all the bricks were on our wall and we had "built" a structure. We talked about how the foundation of our structure was Jesus Christ and all the other bricks build from him up. We discussed the different things we could know about each brick and talked about examples (Will talked about how he has a testimony of prayer because when he prays to find something he always finds it, etc) Then we went and "built" an banana split for our treat.

This final week we talked about how faith and testimony protect us. Mike and I chose stories from the scriptures of individuals that had faith and as a result were protected. We chose the Strippling Warriors, Esther, Elisha, Nephi and Lehi, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Then we found pictures of each of these stories and printed them off along with each of their names. We cut the pictures and names up and then placed them face down on the ground. We played a matching game where the boys would choose a name and a picture. When they got a correct match we told them about the story. Then we discussed how each story showed someone being protected by the Lord because of their faith. At the end we talked about Abinidi and how in the end he was not saved and protected, even though he had faith. We asked the boys why they thought this was and then told them that sometimes even when we have faith, we can't be protected from bad things happening because the Lord had a different plan. We discussed that we still needed to have faith because there were some things the Lord wanted to protect us from and that even if bad things happened to us, we could still have faith in the future and the eternal promises of the Lord.

Faith FHE

2012-01-18T09:34:00.000-08:00

This month we are focusing on building faith and testimony. I found a picture of Mt. Everest and then printed off a mountain climber. I took a picture but can't find it on my computer now. Anyway, we just cut the climber out and read a scripture about faith. Then we told the boys about climbing Mt. Everest and how the climbers have to first work up to being able to get to the top. They have to have proper tools and have climbed other high mountains first. Then, when they get to the mountain they also have make stops along the climb to acclimate their bodies to the climb. We explained that they have experienced climbing before, thus giving them confidence that they can do it again. We also explained that some people have a spiritual gift of faith and others have to work harder for it.

With that, we made up scenarios that would build or hinder our faith. An example we used, "You are sick and your daddy gives you a blessing that you will get better the next day. The next day you are no longer sick." The boys had to guess if that example would help build their faith or not. We talked to them about how our experiences can help build (or hinder) our faith. Then, if it was a scenario that built faith, they got to move the mountain climber up the mountain until he was at the top. We explained that just as the climbers do things to prepare them to climb the mountain, we needed to do things to help build our faith--reading our scriptures, looking for faith building experiences, listening to other's testimonies, etc.

(this picture is from June, not Monday..we didn't take our camera this time)

Then, for our activity, we went hiking at Garden of the Gods. The boys wanted a real hike, not a paved trail so we found one and they loved that. It was such a beautiful day that it was the perfect chance to get them out and go for a hike and tie it into our lesson. It was good too because the trails are hard to follow sometimes we we got "lost" once and then had a good discussion about faith and how it could help us get back on the correct trail.

The boys have been making up their own games since then--playing tag and running around this wall in our house and saying, "I can't see you but I can hear you so I have faith you are there!" They call it their faith game and it cracks me up. I'm glad they are understanding more about faith.

Teeth

2012-01-12T08:43:00.000-08:00

Eli has cavities. Of course he does--he doesn't like us to help him brush his teeth and he loves candy. Boo. Anyway, tomorrow he has to get them filled so I decided to do some projects with him about teeth. I got on pinterest (love that site) and found two great ideas. I wish I had found this idea when I did the All About Me/Bodies week with our co-op last year. It was so easy and effective. I just got a large lego and some play dough and yarn. We talked about how to get food out of our teeth and what happens if we don't. Then Eli practiced "flossing." We also made a diagram of what the inside of our teeth look like and what happens when sugar bugs attack our teeth. Then we just talked about what the dentist will do tomorrow and how Eli's teeth will be all new and clean after they are done.

Penguins

2012-01-12T08:37:00.000-08:00

We decided to learn about penguins since it is winter. I got online and found some fun ideas for Eli to do. We did a letter match game and then I found a clip art picture of a penguin and we played a number game. I gave Eli some goldfish snacks and said, "The penguin wants to eat four goldfish" then Eli would put that amount of goldfish in the penguins tummy. Then he ate the goldfish for snack. Next we did a science project where we collected snow from outside and put it in a pot on the stove. We talked about the climate where penguins lived what would happen if all the snow melted where they lived. We then watched the snow melt in the pot and then put the melted snow in a bowl and put it in the freezer to freeze the water. Next we did an art project where we made a diorama of where a penguin would live with fluffy batting for the snow and Saran wrap to make the water look shiny. We also watched some videos of penguins with their eggs. Then we played a gross motor game where were put an "egg" (really just a little ball) between our legs and tried to waddle across the living room without the ball falling out. Don't crack the egg!!

Puffy snowmen

2011-12-06T11:13:00.001-08:00

Eli and I decided to do some crafting. I went to Pinterest and saw a great idea for puffy paint. It was just equal parts of glue and shaving cream. Eli made a family of snowmen. When I asked him where the nose goes he said he didn't want it on the face he wanted the nose on the belly so that's what I let him do. It was a fun project and Isaac was impressed to--he asked to do his own when he got home from school.

Once there was a snowman

2011-11-30T14:16:00.000-08:00

The pictures came out backwards but this was a fun little craft I did with Eli and Isaac. I saw something on Pinterest that showed a flattened snowman that was a birdseye view. I decided to take it one step further and we cut the snowman out in a swirly pattern then glued the very end of the swirl to the paper. We also glued the hat on but made sure to keep it just on the other end of the swirl. Then we drew eyes, a nose, arms, buttons, etc. When we were done we used it to sing the song, Once there was a snowman and we would grab the hat to pull it up and down on the "tall, tall, tall," parts and the "small, small, small" parts. They loved it and giggled and did it over and over. Great winter craft.

Robots

2011-11-30T07:23:00.000-08:00

These boys have such an imagination and I love it. Will came home one day from school and said he wanted to make a robot. Isaac thought that sounded like a great idea so they went rummaging around the house and in the recycle bin for parts and got to work. Then over the Thanksgiving break, my dad gave the boys some various parts to add to their robots. They worked hard and I am so impressed with what they came up with. I didn't really even help them--all I did was give a few ideas of things that might work for parts and helped them dig out stuff from the recycle bin that they couldn't reach. Such creative boys and I LOVE it!

Indians and the letter I

2011-11-30T07:21:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to work with Eli in the mornings on his letters. We worked on the Letter I and he made an indian. I just used construction paper, glue, markers, and felt. Pretty quick and easy.

Making choices

2011-04-23T08:08:00.001-07:00

This past Monday was very busy. At 7 we still had not had Family Home Evening and we still had some errands to run and bedtime at 8. So, we decided to combine our errands with FHE. Will was having a kindergarten performance the next day and needed to take cookies in for the snack after the performance.

We were going to make cookies but didn't have time so instead we put all the kids in the car and drove to WalMart. We got our cart and walked to the entrance. At the entrance we asked the boys what direction we should go to find cookies. They pointed to the right. This took us all the way to the toys. We asked them where to go next and they decided that if we went straight, we would just go to the toys, not find cookies, so they pointed again to the right. We went left again and ended up in the toiletries section. They said left and we were going towards the garden area. Mike and I asked them what section they thought cookies would be in and they said, "Near the food." So we asked them what direction the food was in and they pointed us back to where we came. Eventually, through this process of choosing the directions, we made it to the cookies. Once we got to the cookies we asked each of them which cookies we should buy. All of us chose something else.

At this point we talked to them about choices and how making choices effect the outcome. We talked to them about how certain choices are wrong and will not get us where we need to be--when we went right, we ended up at the toys, not the cookies. Then we talked about how some choices don't matter--even though we all choose a different cookie, it doesn't mean that one cookie is better than the other. We all just want something different.

We compared this to the gospel by pointing out that we all have agency and are allowed to make choices for ourselves. Some choices are wrong and some are right. We can follow the commandments or ask for help if we want to know what choice to make. We told them that just like they were confused which way to go to find the cookies, they could have asked someone that worked there that knew where to find those cookies. Just like we could ask our parents, teachers, etc., what we should do to make the right choice.

Just as we all chose different cookies, there are some choices in life that are personal to us and there might not be a right or wrong choice. Heavenly Father has a different plan for each of us and there are certain choices that he will let us know personally are right for us--what career to choose, who to marry, etc.

I think this lesson worked well for the boys. They really enjoyed getting to lead us to the cookies and then getting to choose what cookies we would eat for our Family Home Evening treat.

Family Home Evening on Repentance

2010-08-05T06:22:00.000-07:00

Mike thought up this awesome Family Home Evening. He decided to teach the boys about repentance and I was a little nervous because I thought it would be a little over their heads but the activity he did to explain repentance was awesome. It reminded me that you are never to young to learn important doctrine and principles of the Gospel.

Mike had me buy a helium balloon and then he made a little contraption that he tied to the balloon. Then he got out some rice. He had the boys sit at the table and told them what repentance was and why repenting was needed. Then he had the boys put a piece of rice in little contraption/basket he made.

The balloon just started to float up and talked to them about how one little mistake or sin didn't seem like it was doing anything--that we were still floating up to our goal of being with Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father in heaven. He explained that when we sin once and don't repent, it is easier to sin more. So the boys put more rice in the basket. Soon, the basket was floating towards the ground. Mike explained that our lives are weighed down and our journey is now being led away from God.

Then we talked to the boys about repentance and how repenting is necessary to get our journey towards heaven back on track. We talked about the steps of repentance and had the boys slowly take out the rice until our balloon was once again floating up.

I loved teaching the boys this lesson. I really felt that Mike was inspired. I think sometimes it is easy to think that our kids are too young to learn various aspects of the Gospel but the boys seemed to understand what we were teaching them. Of course it will probably be many years before they really understand but this was a good way to help them make a connection. I hope they will never have to really go through the painful process of repentance, but we are each faulted human beings in need of daily repentance and I hope they will hold on to this precious gift of repentance we have been given so they we can all make it together as a family to our Heavenly Father. And if, at some point they have to repent for something more serious than our day to day mistakes, I hope they can understand the love or our Heavenly Father and of their parents. I hope they will feel safe enough to seek our help and understanding and go to the Lord to change their lives.

Learning about pioneers plus music shakers

2010-08-05T06:01:00.000-07:00

Since summer started we have not been doing as many learning activities and crafts because we would rather be outside or playing with friends. We have done a few though. We made these little music shakers. It was pretty simple. I just had them tape paper over the ends of the empty toilet paper rolls (after we put in the beans) and then let them decorate the outside with markers, feathers, streamers, etc.

The week of the 24th of July we decided to do some pioneerish things. We went to the farm for playgroup, and then we made these covered wagons for a fun treat.

Family Home Evening: Pizza and a happy family

2010-05-23T16:16:00.001-07:00

It's been a hard month at our house. We have had a lot of different experiences that have really left an impression on me and reminded me how important teaching my children is. We have Family Home Evening every Monday night but lately they have been kind of lame and last minute. Both of us have a renewed desire to make sure our Family Home Evenings are more thought out.

Last week we had some friends over for homemade pizza and we had quite a bit of pizza dough left over so I stole an idea off of my friend and adapted it.

We talked about all the things that make a happy family and each ingredient represented a different quality of a happy family. The last part of our pizza was cooking it in the oven, which we compared to trials that our family might have to go through. We taught the boys that the trials we go through will help us be a stronger family and that the ingredients we already put on our pizza (service, love, a home, etc.) would help us through those trials.

Kites--cutting and the letter K

2010-05-20T11:04:00.000-07:00

Excuse Eli's clothes; we just had snack and it looks like most of his snack ended up on him!

The boys really wanted to make kites and this seemed like a good idea to me because Isaac still gets his R and K confused--makes sense to me, R's and K's look similar. So, we practiced our cutting skills and the letter K. Isaac is getting better and better at cutting--his is the one on the right and Will's is the one on the left (he cut out all his pieces on his own). I also used this as an opportunity to work on colors with Eli.

Fishing

2010-04-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

I haven't had a lot to post on this blog recently partly because it has been beautiful outside and we just want to be out playing all day. We have also had a lot of playdates the last few weeks so we haven't done a lot of projects inside--mostly climbing trees and pretending to be "pirate kings" in the backyard.

Today we went fishing.

Yesterday I spray painted a box blue and then when we went to the park I made sure to pick up a long stick. I tied yarn to the stick and taped a magnet to the end (I can't find glue sticks for my glue gun right now). Then I drew six fish out of colored construction paper and laminated them. I then put paper clips on the front and put the fish in the dried box. Oh, I also wrote a letter and a number on each fish. I only did six fish though so I picked the numbers 1-6 and chose some letters I knew Isaac still got confused. I used six different colors so that when Eli gets a little older he can use these fish to learn his colors. For the numbers I just had Will fish for two and then had him add them, which was too easy for him so next time I'll have him subtract.

Then the boys went fishing. They had the best time! The only problem I had was that the magnet fell off eventually (need that glue gun!) and the boys had so much fun that they fought about who's turn it was and that was super annoying, though not surprising.

Mixing colors

2010-04-12T10:30:00.000-07:00

I'm posting this late but it's better late than never. I saw an activity on No Time For Flash Cards where they glued colored marshmallows on some construction paper in the shape of an egg. I thought it would be fun to do something similar with the boys but I didn't have colored marshmallows so I decided to have us color them ourselves. We talked about what we thought the food coloring would make the marshmallows look like. We also talked about mixing colors and what colors we could make by mixing certain colors. We discovered that the marshmallows looked all splotchy afterward and that it took quite a bit more orange than red to get an orangy/red color--we had to mix about two times the amount of orange to get it to show up at all. After coloring the marshmallows the boys got to glue them to their eggs and of course they had to eat some--good thing that glue isn't toxic, right?!

We had a fun FHE a few nights ago that I have posted on our family blog--check it out.

Sink or float?

2010-04-03T17:26:00.000-07:00

We had a bunch of extra Easter eggs left over (I didn't buy very much candy this year) so I decided to do a science project with the kids. I let the boys help me decide on the items and then we made guesses which things would float and which things would sink. We made a little chart with each item and they put an X under sink or float according to their guess. Then we all went to the bathroom and put the items in the water to see which things would float or sink. They boys did a really good job guessing and only got a few wrong. We took the eggs and let them sink with nothing inside and then we put some items inside of various weight and saw which items would make the egg sink and which would not. The boys liked this activity if for no other reason than they got to play in the water!

Shape people

2010-03-31T08:34:00.000-07:00

We made shape people. I just cut a bunch of shapes and then let them choose the shapes they wanted for the various body parts. I also let them cut and glue of course so they got to practice more fine motor skills and then practice shapes (which Will doesn't need but he still likes doing these kinds of projects--who doesn't like to cut and glue?) We just used construction paper, glue, scissors, and yarn.

The Godhead Family Home Evening

2010-03-10T07:29:00.000-08:00

The boys have been having a hard time understand the Holy Ghost so a few of our Family Home Evenings have been centered around that. This week we talked about the Godhead and how the Holy Ghost is part of the Godhead. We made little puppets and talked about the responsibilities of each person in the Godhead. They got stuck on the long hair and when Mike would ask them who one of them were they kept saying, "Mommy." I am getting grey hair, but come one...grey hair and a beard!?

Holy Ghost Family Home Evening

2010-03-10T07:23:00.001-08:00

We have been talking about the Holy Ghost lately. For one of our Family Home Evenings we decided to do an activity where we helped the boys understand that the Holy Ghost will guide us but that sometimes it is hard to hear and we have to listen closely to know what we should do. We had the boys stand in the corner and placed obstacles in their path and had them put a hat over their head so they couldn't see. Then Mike acted as the Holy Ghost and guided them around the obstacles back to everyone else. The boys really liked this activity but Eli was afraid when it was his turn. He really wanted to do what the other two boys had done he didn't understand the concept of the Holy Ghost and just thought we were talking about ghosts. When he had the hat on his head he just cried. It was pretty funny. You can see him crying in the picture. We told him he didn't have to do it but he wanted to.

Valentine's

2010-03-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

We made little hearts and the boys got to glue and paint. We also used glitter and stickers to make our hearts. The boys got to practice cutting. Isaac has improved so much in cutting!

Bats

2010-01-28T06:15:00.000-08:00

We learned about bats yesterday. We talked about some things we wanted to learn about bats first and made some predictions about what the answers would be. Then we googled bats on the internet and looked at pictures and read about the answers to our questions.

What do they eat?

Where do they live?

How much do they eat?

How do they find their food?

Are they blind?

How big are they?

Afterwards I printed off some pictures of bats for the boys to color and for lunch we had peanut butter and honey sandwhiches cut in the shape of a bat. For a special treat later in the day I made little bats. I used toothpicks, half a snickers bar, a fruit rollup and some butterscotch chips. They were fun and good (not exactly healthy though).

Apples, worms, and a Math activity

2010-01-28T06:07:00.000-08:00

Another activity we did that centered around the letter A focused on Math skills. I cut out these little apples and wrote a number on the bottom (I used the numbers 10-15). Will had to use the hole punch to punch in the number of holes that corresponded with with number he saw. This is a good fine motor skill as well as number recognition and counting. While Will did his apples I had Isaac do his own little Math activity. I cut out a big worm and drew shapes on the worm then cut the worm into sections (check out the picture below to see what I'm talking about). He had to match each shape and make the worm.

For our snack we had apples with a peanut butter dip. Here is the recipe. Finally, I wanted to read them The Very Hungry Caterpillar but couldn't find our book so instead I just read a shape book to them to review the activity Isaac did.

The letter A--angels

2010-01-28T06:04:00.000-08:00

We did some activities with the letter A last week. Kids love glitter. My kitchen doesn't but I decided to make a sacrifice. We drew a letter A on a piece of paper and then glued glitter in an oval above the A to be an angel. It was a really fast activity but effective. Activities don't have to take a long time to teach something.

I can follow Jesus Christ Treasure Hunt

2010-01-28T05:56:00.001-08:00

This activity was not for Family Home Evening but for my CTR 4 class. The lesson was on choosing to follow Jesus Christ and talked about how we made a choice to follow the plan of Heavenly Father and accepted the plan for Jesus Christ to come to earth and be our Savior. Sometimes the lessons are a little over the head of the four year olds because the same lesson is taught up to the 8 year olds. Little four year olds just coming out of Sunbeams need some activities and things to get them moving while learning at the same time. So, I decided to use the manual to teach them about the plan. We used some of the scriptures from the manual and I taught them about the story of the council in heaven. Then we went on a treasure hunt. We started in the classroom and I asked them a question from the manual about the council in heaven. If they answered it correctly they got a clue. Each place had a question and a clue and then we made it back to the classroom where we had a treasure (dollar store toys) waiting for them. At the end I explained to them that just as we had to follow the clues to find our treasure we made a choice to follow the Savior and we still have to make that choice every day. The real treasure is the Atonement and our agency. The kids loved this activity.

Even though I used this for my class, it could easily be used for Family Home Evening. My friend that teaches the 7-8 year olds used the same activity only geared more toward their age group so I think the activity could be pretty versatile.

Here is the outline I used:

1. Where did we live before we came to earth?
-Heaven
Clue #1 Go to the place where you put your warm clothes (Coat closet)

2. Where did Heavenly Father want us to go?
-Earth
Clue #2 Where would you go if you were thirsty? (Drinking fountain)

3. What two people presented plans?
-Satan and Jesus
Clue #3 Go to the place where you would exercise your bodies (Cultural Hall)

4. What was Jesus’ plan?
-To come to earth and let everyone have their agency. Jesus would be our Savior and provide a way for us to repent and return to Heavenly Father.
Clue #4 Where are the biggest windows in the church? (Entry way)

5. Who did you choose to follow?
-Jesus Christ
Clue #5 Go to the place you sit in every week after sharing time (Classroom)

6. Give an example of how you could follow Jesus (If there is enough time have each kid give an example, otherwise, just have one or two kids give an answer. As they answer they an choose a prize from the treasure bag).

**Explain that just as we followed the clues to find the treasure, we followed the plan of Jesus. We wanted to follow him and we came to earth. We still have to follow Him each day. Jesus Christ is the real treasure. The Atonement is a gift for us. If we follow Him and his plan we can return to live with Heavenly Father and claim our prize of eternal life.

Alternate questions for an older class:

1. Where did we live before we came to earth and who did we live with?
Clue #1 Read a scripture about Joseph’s coat of many colors. The clue is the coat and have them go to the coat closet

2. Why did Heavenly Father want us to come to Earth?
Clue #2 Read a scripture about Jesus being the living waters or how you won’t thirst again if you follow Him. The clue is the water and you have them go to the drinking fountain.

3. What two people had plans and what were their plans?
Clue #3 Read the scripture about running and not being weary. The clue is running and you have them go to the gym,

4. Why do you think you chose to follow Jesus?
Clue #4 Read the scripture about strait is the gate and narrow the way for those that enter in. The clue is enter and they go to the entryway of the church. (Send them to the entryway by the bishops office. The clue will most likely be by one of the tables).

5. Give an example of how you could follow Jesus.
Clue #5 Read a scripture about being taught (probably in the D&C or in the New Testament) The clue would be taught and they would go to the classroom. In the classroom you would have the bag of prizes.

Family Home Evening: Heavenly Father Has a Plan for Me

2010-01-12T09:17:00.000-08:00

We decided to follow the Nursery Manual for Family Home Evening. This week the lesson was on how Heavenly Father has a plan for us. I really love the Nursery Manual but it is a little young for the older boys, obviously since it is for Nursery children. Anyway, we usually go off of the manual and and then add an activity or something for the older boys. This week we drew a blue print or plan for the boys and then Mike helped them build a house out of marshmallows and pretzels. The pictures are a little out of order but you get the idea.

Hansel and Gretel

2010-01-12T09:06:00.000-08:00

We didn't ever really found a great time to do our gingerbread house when we were in Maryland so we packed it up and brought it home with us. Because Christmas was already over I decided that we could still do our gingerbread house but do it fairytale style. Will and Isaac have been really interested in the story of Hansel and Gretel lately so I told them the story and then we went and made the witches house. The boys had so much fun and I was glad we were still able to make our gingerbread house.

Snowmen

2009-12-31T08:16:00.000-08:00

We made snowmen out of cotton balls, felt, and raisins. It is a pretty typical winter craft, I think. You can never go wrong with cotton balls--kids love them.

Letters to Jesus

2009-12-31T08:12:00.000-08:00

I remember when we were growing up that my mom had us sit down for Family Home Evening and write letters to Jesus. We wrote in our letters things that we wanted to improve the next year--kind of like New Year's Resolutions, I guess.

I wanted to make Christmas more meaningful for the boys so this year we did the same thing. We talked about the Nativity and about how the greatest gift we are giving is the birth of the Savior, His sacrifice for us, and the resurrection. Then we all discussed gifts we could give to the Savior and wrote letters to him. The boys wrote some great things. Will said he would read the scriptures every day and Isaac said he would be nicer to his brothers. After we wrote our letters we stuffed them in our stockings. Now that Christmas is over I took the letters out and put them in our journals so we can take them out next year.

I think this is a great activity for our family and think we will try and do it each year.

Sugar Cookies

2009-12-31T06:38:00.000-08:00

I have been getting behind on posting on this blog. This month we made sugar cookies. I found a great recipe to try and then let the boys help me cut and decorate the cookies. Eli only got to help roll out and cut and then I put him to bed and the boys got to help me do the rest. I could just imagine the mess we would have had on our hands if Eli helped with the sprinkles! I couldn't find any of our Christmas sprinkles so I just let the boys use all the other colorful ones we had. They turned out beautiful and tasty!

Thanksgiving Family Home Evening

2009-12-07T14:08:00.000-08:00

For our Thanksgiving Family Home Evening we talked about the history of Thanksgiving. I made these little finger puppets to tell the story. After we talked about how Thanksgiving started we told the boys about the bible story of the ten lepers and taught them about being thankful for everything they have. I drew and cut out a cornucopia and different fruit. Then we each took turns and listed what we were thankful for and taped the fruit to our cornucopia.

Turkeys

2009-12-01T05:54:00.000-08:00

We made Christmas turkeys the week before Thanksgiving. The boys LOVED, LOVED this project. Pretty much anything with feathers and paint is a hit with them. Isaac's turkey is awesome. They are like some alien turkeys. I love it. The original idea came from My Family, My Forever. We just changed it a little bit.

Family Home Evening: Red light, Green light

2009-11-16T17:40:00.000-08:00

Tonight for Family Home Evening we talked about the rules in our house. We've been having a rough month in that area. First we told them the rules to Red light, Green light and played that a few times. Then we all sat down and we talked about rules and why we have them, what they are, and what happens if we break them. We then played the game without following the rules. When Mike and I didn't play by the rules Isaac fell apart and cried and cried. We explained that when we don't follow rules it makes people sad. We talked a little more about the rules we have in our home and what the consequences would be if they were broken. Then we played the game with the right rules one more time. The boys loved playing this game.

P.S. if someone knows why I can't link anymore on this blog, please tell me. I'm not sure why it's not working. Can anyone help me?

Learning about Indians Part 2: Totum Poles

2009-11-16T17:32:00.000-08:00

We made Totum Poles today. We got online and looked at pictures of totum poles and talked about which Indians made them. Then we made some. The boys enjoyed this craft. They enjoyed making the faces. Their finished product didn't quite look like you would imagine a totum pole to look but they liked being able to draw happy and sad faces. They've been playing with them all day and "flying" them around the house so the wings would flap. I think they also used them as a telescope.

This activity required two toilet paper rolls taped together (or one paper towel tube), paper, markers, construction paper, and tape. All I did was wrap the white paper around the tube. I cut out the wings (could have your kid cut the wings out for cutting practice) and then had the boys draw faces on the tube. Then we taped the wings on. That was it. No glue, no mess, just drawing and taping. My kind of activity.

Will's adding game

2009-11-10T16:23:00.000-08:00

Will is ready for adding and subtracting. This summer Mike gave Will an adding worksheet and I was very surprised that he could do the entire worksheet with very minimal help. We just gave him candy to use with his worksheet and it helped him understand the concept so well. I was trying to think of something else that would help him add but wasn't just a worksheet. I found this idea (again, don't know where) and will use this with Will. I looked for dried beans but couldn't find where we had them hidden so we just used Good and Plenty.

Isaac's number game

2009-11-10T16:06:00.000-08:00

The boys are obviously at different levels than each other when it comes to letters and numbers. It is easy to do crafts with them both even though sometimes it is geared more toward one than the other and a lot of times our crafts are just reviewing something they already know or just for fun. But when it comes to learning something I have to make the activities more personal and that gets hard because then I have to have separate activities. Sometimes it's the same activity but I have to alter it to be harder for Will or easier for Isaac. Anyway, this activity was just for Isaac.

The picture pretty well tells what I did. I got this idea from ABC and 123. I think they were linking to someone else that actually did this but I found the idea awhile ago and unfortunately can't remember who the original idea came from. It seemed perfect Isaac though.

I just got five pieces of paper and cut out the numbers 1-5 and glued them to the corner. Then I had him use Legos to put the right amount on each paper. He can count really well, sometimes almost to 20 but he doesn't recognize his numbers yet very well so this was a good practice. You could pretty much use whatever you had on hand--cars, stickers, candy, or whatever. I also mixed them up to make it harder.

Shape Pumpkins

2009-11-10T15:59:00.000-08:00

Some time last month we made shape pumpkins. All I did was cut out different shapes and then let the boys choose what shapes they wanted for the face. Easy, easy craft.

Testimonies

2009-11-10T15:54:00.000-08:00

We had a Family Home Evening on Testimonies two weeks ago and I am just getting to post it. First we pretended we were at court. Mike acted out stealing something and I was the judge. He came to "court" and we questioned the "witnesses" aka the boys. They told us what Mike did and then we pronounced the sentence on Mike.

We played this a few times with the boys doing other examples and then we talked about how when the boys were being witnesses they were giving a testimony. We explained that there are other things we testify about and explained what it meant to testify.

Then we just quickly bore our testimonies to the boys.

The boys enjoyed this activity and we hope to continue to think of ways to explain testimonies and share them with the boys.

Learning about Indians part 1

2009-11-10T15:39:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up I had this crazy interest in Indians. Even today, I still love reading stories or looking at pictures of the different groups and their cultures. I really just love history. Anyway, I thought since it is almost Thanksgiving we could learn a little about Indians. Today we got on the internet and looked at pictures of different Indians and what they wore, where they lived, and what they lived in. We also talked a little about what they ate and then we made this craft that we found from No Time for Flash Cards. The boys had a great time and made their corn cobs look like "a rainbow." Mike said they look like fish. Come back because we are also going to make Totum Poles this month and other Thanksgiving crafts.

I keep trying to link to things today and for some reason can't. So, click on the link for No Time for Flash Cards on the blogroll and look up this craft. It was fun, and made with marshmallows so of course we had to eat some of them (before the marker was put on them of course).

Talent show!

2009-10-25T17:17:00.000-07:00

This week for family home evening we copied my brother and his wife. They had this great idea to have a talent show. Because talents are one of the areas we are focusing on this year, I thought that was a perfect idea. Two weeks ago we talked about talents and what they are. We read the story of the talents and then we talked about the talents we each have. We decided that the following week we would have a talent show. Isaac decided his talent was drawing. I've mentioned it before but Isaac is an artist. He loved everything art. His art work isn't always noticeable yet but that kid can stay in the lines like nobodies business. He drew a bunch of letters (mostly I's and S's and C's. He is learning to write his name). He drew a "tormato" or tornado and some other things.

Will chose to ride his bike for his talent. He was also going to show us how to skip and do some other exercises but he forgot once he got on his bike.

Eli likes to dance so we turned on music and let him dance.

Mike is writing a book--it's very interesting and I'm very glad he is developing this talent. He wants to make millions writing a book. So, if anyone wants to buy a book once it's written that would make him very happy.

I have been working on taking pictures and taking a cake decorating class so for our family home evening treat we ate the cake I decorated.

Camping in the living room

2009-10-19T10:05:00.000-07:00

The boys packed up a backpack and announced that they wanted to go camping. I figured that since it was so gloomy outside lately we would stay home and go camping. Contrary to popular belief, we DO own a tent and I DO know how to put it up. We put up the tent, had smores, went for a bear hunt, stayed in our PJ's for a good portion of the day, and then the boys went swimming (took a bath) in the lake.

For our bear hunt we hid a bear around the house and the boys grabbed their hunting weapons and we sang, "We're going on a bear hunt! We're not scared! Gonna catch a big one!" Then we went searching for our bear. The boys could have played forever and I only wish our flashlights worked--that would have made it even better.

Fingerprint Butterflies

2009-10-11T18:29:00.000-07:00

We have been talking about butterflies. We aren't done with our butterfly crafts yet. This week we are hopefully going to make some butterflies to hang up but in the meantime here are two things we did to learn about butterflies.

First up we went to the gardens that are near us. We walked around and searched for butterflies and talked about what they eat. Then of course, we just played in the Discovery Gardens. We stayed there for hours and if we weren't all hungry we would have stayed longer. We only saw eight other people the entire time and no kids but he boys didn't mind. They played to their hearts content. Pictures are posted here.

Next we made finger print butterflies. We cut out our flowers, stems, and leaves and glued them. Then we made fingerprints with our ink pad and finally, we drew wings and the boys colored them.

Even Eli got to do one and he wanted his taped right next to Will and Isaac's.

Tell me those aren't beautiful blue eyes...

T is for Train

2009-10-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

We made trains this week. We got some books about trains at the library and then we made trains. Isaac is still having a hard time with some shapes (rectangles, diamonds, crescent, octagon) so we used the box cars to talk about rectangles. The boys drew the smoke and the train tracks and glued the pieces on. They also got to cut their pieces out and Isaac is getting much better at cutting on the lines. He still gets frustrated and then wants me to finish but he is making progress. One thing I have to say about Isaac is that he is an artist. He loves to draw, loves crafts, loves everything artistic. I really love to see that in him and I really hope I can continue to foster that talent in him. He must be related to his great-great grandma Teichert. Maybe he took art lessons from her in the pre-existence

Anway, back to trians.

We sang the train song. I have heard that a lot of people don't know this song and I have to tell you, that is a SHAME!

Here are the words:

Choo Choo the big train is coming down the track now(move your arms back and forth)
Choo Choo the big train is coming down the track (move your arms back and forth)
Stop (hand out in a stop motion), look (hands to eyes), and listen (hands to ears)
Stop, look, and listen (same as above)
Choo Choo the big trian is coming down the track (move hands back and forth)
Choo, Choo!! (pull horn cable)

My boys LOVE this song. Eli will have me sing it over and over and over. My mom taught it to me and I hope my boys keep the train song going when they have kids.

Yummy Mummies

2009-09-27T11:45:00.001-07:00

I love Halloween. I'm not sure why I love it so much but I really do. I am so excited to start celebrating Halloween and couldn't wait until it was October. So, I decided to make the boys a fun Halloween dinner. We had Yummy Mummies. They love anything with hot dogs so this was a perfect meal for them.

Yummy Mummies

Hot dogs
Philsbury Crescent Rolls (or whatever brand, we just use the cheapest)
Mustard

Separate the crescent rolls. Place one end of the hot dog on the fat side of the crescent and roll so only one side of the hot dog is covered. Tuck in the bottom of the roll so no hot dog is sticking out on that side. Place on cookie sheet and bake at 375 degrees until lightly browned. When cooked, put two dots of mustard on the side of the hot dog showing for eyes. Enjoy!

Stay tuned for more fun Halloween treats and crafts.

Letter and word relay

2009-09-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

I saw this idea on a blog...I'm terrible at knowing which ones I get them from. I decided to try it with the boys but I adjusted it a bit to work more for us. I have flashcards with letters. On set is just letters with little pictures that start with that word and the other are cards in a group that spell words. I chose a few from each set. The cards with the letters and pictures that start with those letters I used for Isaac and the other ones for Will. I put them on our fireplace. Then I had a basket and we had a relay. I told Isaac to find certain letters (I only did four) and grab it and throw it in the basket. Then I told Will he had to find the set of letters that spelled the word I said. I'd say PIG and he had to find all three letters. It proved to be a little hard for Isaac. Not too bad. At first he just chose whatever and said, "Is this it?" but later he spent more time looking and then did fine once he really tried. It was much too easy for Will. I thought perhaps he was just finding the matching pictures. So I changed things up a little. For Isaac I changed them to the letters in his name. That was great for him. For Will I wrote the words out without pictures and then called out the words. That was too easy too. He would say, "Pig...I need a P" then grab the word. So, I'll have to find more challenging words for him or something. The boys loved this activity. They just wanted to play it over and over.

Snake starts with S

2009-09-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

We made snakes to practice our letter S. Our snakes had stripes so we could practice patterns and the boys both got to cut their S's out. Isaac did very well. He needed a little help cutting at the end but he did a very good job. I was really surprised at how well he did.

Sabbath Sundaes

2009-09-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

Tonight for FHE we talked about appropriate Sabbath activities. I found this great idea on Sugardoodle, that was used in Young Women's but I thought it would be perfect for the boys. We started by talking about Sundays and what things we should and shouldn't do on Sundays. Then we got out our ice cream and told the boys we were going to make Sundaes. We got out green olives, banana peppers, hot sauce, and mustard and topped our ice cream. The boys were really concerned that we were going to make them eat it. We asked, "You like mustard on your hot dog, why not on your ice cream?" We explained that just because an activity is good on a normal day doesn't make it a good Sabbath activity. Then we made real sundaes!a> A very concerned Mr. Isaac

Delicious. Eli actually tried this and he didn't like it but he kept eating it!

Will was starting to cry when we put hot sauce and mustard on his ice cream.

Have you seen anything cuter than these three smiling boys?

M&M's, Goldfish, and Graphs

2009-09-09T05:53:00.000-07:00

This was a really perfect activity for our boys. I bought goldfish and M&M's from the store. I split them up in bowls (each boy got their own). Then I made cards that had colors for the M&M's on colors for the goldfish. Then I drew a bar chart. I had the boys put the M&M's and goldfish in the appropriate bar. This was a great activity. We taught them about biggest, smallest, tallest, shortest, colors, and counting. We were also able to teach them about graphs and why we have them. More importantly, we got to eat our graphs!

What our graphs looked like at the beginning of the activity
What our graphs looked like at the end of the activity

It was really fun to watch their personalities during this activity. Will put all the colors on together. So, he graphed all the blues, then all the yellows, etc. Isaac graphed one of each color. He graphed a blue, then a yellow, then a green, etc. and then would repeat. I just love seeing how their minds work!

What item comes from what animal

2009-09-07T13:10:00.000-07:00

Isaac has been begging me to take them back to the farm that is a mile from my house. It is free and only a mile away so I have no problems taking them there. I decided to make little matching cards for them. On one side of the card I drew pictures (don't look too closely, they are bad pictures) and on the other I drew pictures of things that come from these animals. Will also wanted to count them and write down the letter they each start with. Every time we go to the farm Will says that pillows come from geese. There are no geese at the farm but we drew a pillow and the boys decided that belonged to the chickens. They both have feathers right?

The food groups and fruit kabobs

2009-09-03T17:06:00.000-07:00

We learned about nutrition and the food groups. I printed out a food pyramid and set out foods from each food group. We talked about each group and what they do for our bodies.
Then we had a quiz. They boys put pictures of food into their food groups.

For our activity/snack we made fruit kabobs and talked about patterns while making them. They were delicious.

I is for Island

2009-08-26T15:56:00.000-07:00

We found this idea on no time for flashcards but we tweaked it. We decided to do the "I is for Island" idea but also do some textures. I cut out the I with some brown felt. We found some bark and leaves and dirt from outside. I also dug up some blue streamers from our craft bin. We just assembled it with the sand (a half circle cut out of construction paper) and glued the dirt to it. Then we glued the leaves on the tree and the bark on the trunk. We talked about soft, rough, smooth, crinkly, and grainy. The boys really enjoyed this. I let Will cut his parts out (except the felt was hard for him so I did that) and I let Isaac try to cut his as well. He is getting better but still needs some practice, which he will only get if I let him do it on his own.

Samuel the Lamanite FHE

2009-08-17T15:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight we had a fun FHE. We read the story of Samuel the Lamanite from Helaman 13 and Helaman 16 about Samuel crying repentance on the wall. We showed them this picture. Then we had them dress in their capes and we let them break the "no standing on the counter" rule. They stood up and said something like, "Stop being bad" and then we all threw marshmallows at them. It was pretty funny. The boys giggled and giggled and they would just throw them right back. We then talked about how God will protect us when we do what he asks us to do.

A fun Saturday Morning Breakfast

2009-08-15T06:44:00.000-07:00

We had a fun breakfast this morning. The boys got to make faces on their pancakes.
Mike got to make one too. He gave his a goatee and a uni brow.
Isaac said his pancake had a fluffy tail (the orange slice on the bottom in case you couldn't tell).

Will wanted arms and legs.

Mr. Eli's was boring....I made his.

Watermelon

2009-08-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

We are growing watermelon at Will's request. The boys are so excited everyday to check on their watermelons. I thought since they liked them so much we could just make a fast craft watermelon. It was really fast, like five minutes, and a little too fast for the boys. They wanted a little more than just gluing. Anyway, they had fun nonetheless. They chose how many seeds they wanted and glued the different felt pieces on. We talked about colors, shapes, and counted seeds.

Making Magnents

2009-08-13T06:41:00.001-07:00

When Kaitlin was at our house we made these magnets. Will and Isaac wanted in on the fun. All we used was a hot glue gun, scrapbook paper, buttons, ribbon, modge podge, magnets, and wooden shapes or chip board. The boys made the heart and butterfly on the bottom of the first picture. Isaac said that his butterfly had poison grass that he drew on it.

The word of Wisdom

2009-08-04T06:57:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make...I didn't always enjoy FHE growing up. In know, shocking. I'm sure half the world felt the same. My parents were usually very serious about FHE. We always had it. We always learned. To this day I have strong feelings about having Family Home Evening. I really feel it is important. I commend my parents for being so diligent in making us have it. The only thing I wish we did more of was have fun! That isn't to say we didn't have fun but my memories of Family Home Evening are mostly of sitting in the living room with our scriptures open reading from them and then discussing them. I can trace my knowledge of the scriptures back to those nights but I have to admit, it was not fun.

So, Mike and I have talked extensively about this. We have little kids that can't sit very long for Family Home Evening. We ALWAYS have it. We decided that we need to learn something and we need to have fun! I think we will have those gospel discussion sometimes as our kids get older but definitely not every Monday night. We decided that whatever we do has to be tied back to the gospel.

Last night we had to go grocery shopping. We packed the kids up and got our grocery shopping done and then when we got home we sat around the table and looked at pictures of food and animals, grains, cigarettes, wine, beer, etc. We read from Doctrine and Covenants 89 about the Word of Wisdom and talked about what things are OK to eat and which are not. Then we ate ice cream. That is sure to be good for our bodies right? This morning while eating breakfast the boys continued to look at the pictures and talk about them.

Not a very involved FHE but short and sweet and we got to get our groceries done.

Music and the letter P

2009-08-04T06:44:00.000-07:00

Today we learned about music. The boys made piano's. We found the idea for the craft from no time for flash cards but then we expounded about that idea. The great thing about doing crafts is that you can learn so many things all at once. While we made the piano's we went over to our real piano and played the notes. Then we made one out of construction paper. We talked about what color the piano is. We talked about patterns and how there is a pattern with the keys (three black, two black, three black, two black). We also talked about the letter P.

I have some instruments I drew on construction paper. I made each one out of colored construction paper with a matching instrument in black. The boys matched them after we talked about what each instrument was and then we got on youtube and watched videos of what each instrument sounded like.

Tomorrow I think we will make music shakers but I don't know if we will get it done because Aunt Katy is visiting!!!

Going back to my roots

2009-07-26T15:53:00.000-07:00

I found some fun books about animals and farms at the library this week so I decided to do an activity about farms with the boys. I don't usually pick an activity to go with specific books. If we do an activity and have a book or find one at the library that goes with it, then we read it. But I found these books and thought the boys would enjoy doing something centering around farms.

We talked about the different plants they might find on a farm (ie. gardens, orchards, crops, etc.) and then they made salads. I drew different fruits and veggies and they chose what they wanted in their salad and colored it and glued it to their bowl.

I have these little posters I got from when I taught at Head Start. The boys love them. We counted, made animal sounds (for Eli) and talked about farm animals. Then....

We went to this awesome free farm that is just about two miles from my house! It was great. The boys loved it.

Eli decided he was done by the time we got to the cows...I think the picture speaks for itself.

This was funny. The boys kept trying to get the rooster and chickens. The rooster flapped it's wings at Isaac to get him to go away and it scared Isaac and he took off running.

Isaac and Eli were not huge fans of the horses. They were so big and so friendly that they were a tad bit scared. Will, however, loved them and stood there on the fence for a long time just petting away. And then one of the horses farted in a little girl's face and we all thought that was gross so we moved on to the next thing.

We took a quick walk around the old farm house inside and then we walked down the lane to the visitors center where they had a pretend school house for the kids to play in and a penny candy store downstairs. The boys brought money from their piggy banks and loved choosing candy.

It was a great activity!

B is for Bulldozer

2009-07-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

My favorite project we've done recently was probably this one (or the dinosaurs in plaster of paris...those were cool). I was trying to think of something for the boys the other night and in a moment of inspiration, I thought of this. B for Bulldozer. It was perfect for the boys. In fact, I should have taken a picture but forgot, but Will did the cutest thing during quiet time after this project. He took the bulldozer I did as an example and he drew each part on a white piece of paper. Then he cut them all out and colored them and glued them on another paper. I wish I had a picture, maybe I'll put on up later. It was great. I was impressed that he could do one all by himself without me drawing and cutting each part out for him.

All we used was construction paper, glue, and scissors. Later we read one of their bazillion truck books.

Oh, and be proud of me--this was my very own idea.

Jelly fish

2009-07-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

This is perhaps the easiest project we have done in our house, which is great because if it's too much work, I won't do it. If I don't have the required items I won't go to the store and buy them.

I just used a paper plate, let the boys draw on them, then we glued the streamers on. Finally, they helped me hole punch and tie the string at the top. And there you have it--a jelly fish!

Rockets

2009-07-22T11:21:00.000-07:00

A fun little project we did from no time for flash cards. Will is really into space right now. He tells everyone he is going to be an astronaut. I thought this would be a perfect project for them and they loved it. The supplies: cardboard (from a cereal box. I'm sure construction paper would be fine too), cotton balls, tin foil, crayons or something to color with, construction paper, scissors, glue.

Isaac's projects sometimes look a little nicer than Will's only because I try and let Will cut his out and glue it by himself. Isaac gets to do most of his as well but he still needs a little practice with cutting and he doesn't like to get glue on his fingers so he will often ask me to help him. But, soon he will have cute messy little projects as well. I think those are the best--the ones where you know the kid did it all by themselves.

Rainbow fish

2009-07-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know where I got this idea or I would link to it. This is the project that caused so much havoc on our house. I would recommend not doing this project with a little toddler running around. It required paper plates, paint (or markers or crayons), construction paper for the fins, googly eyes if you have them (we did not so I just used white paper and drew a dot in the middle), glue, scissors, and aluminum foil. We read the Rainbow Fish first and then did our project. We own that book and love it.

Here are a few more ideas from the web that goes along with the book.

FHE on repenting

2009-07-22T07:38:00.000-07:00

I looked online for some FHE ideas and found a website called FHE in a snap. It had some great ideas. I found a few others too. I'll have to update my blogroll to include them. I found this idea about consequences and thought the boys would enjoy it. I couldn't figure out how to copy the picture from the website so I had to draw it myself but I made a little boy named Nathan and we talked about some scenarios. Each time Nathan made a bad choice we smeared him with Peanut Butter. Then we talked about what Nathan could do to repent and each time he repented we wiped Peanut Butter off until he was clean. Afterwards we had Peanut Butter Bars. The boys loved the activity and loved the treat.

Peanut Butter Bars

INGREDIENTS
1 cup butter or margarine, melted
2 cups graham cracker crumbs
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup peanut butter
1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
4 tablespoons peanut butter

DIRECTIONS
1.In a medium bowl, mix together the butter or margarine, graham cracker crumbs, confectioners' sugar, and 1 cup peanut butter until well blended. Press evenly into the bottom of an ungreased 9x13 inch pan.
2.In a metal bowl over simmering water, or in the microwave, melt the chocolate chips with the peanut butter, stirring occasionally until smooth. Spread over the prepared crust. Refrigerate for at least one hour before cutting into squares

The recipe came from allrecipes.com

Getting organized

2009-07-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

We are trying to organize at our house. Some recent projects: 1. The boys have a hard time some days knowing how to dress themselves. They often wear pants when it's 90 degrees and shorts when it's 60 degrees or colder. So, we made a weather chart for them. Now they just look outside or we check on the computer what the weather will be and they choose their picture and dress accordingly.
*A lot of my ideas are stolen from other people. I actually thought of this one on my own and then today saw it on someone else's blog. I thought, "Stink, now it looks like I stole this one too." I didn't.

1. The boys have a hard time with prayers at night. Mostly Will gets lazy and says, "I don't know what to say. You say it." Then we go over the same things every night, "What did you do today that you are thankful for?" "What do you want help with?" We decided to have a Family Home Evening where we talked about prayer and then we listed things we could be thankful for and ask for help with. Then we colored pictures of those things. They boys hung them on the wall above their beds and then at night they look at it before prayer time. I think we will have to do this a few times because now the repeat the same things over and over, which is great, but I think we need to teach them that prayers change--sometimes we need help in something else and sometimes we are grateful for something else. But, it's helping them get an idea of how to pray so it's working. Besides, their pictures are cute. Isaac drew snakes and each night he thanks Heavenly Father for snakes and asks that he won't be afraid of the snakes in his room. Cute, cute.

3. Will and Isaac ask me all day long what we are going to do next. "Is it time for a show?" "When do we get snack?" I decided to make these little clip art magnents. Each morning we go to the board and talk about the things we will do that day. The boys love it, Will more than Isaac, and they will go look at it throughout the day. *Ignore the phone numbers on the other side of the board. I don't want some stranger calling my family and friends. I will try and blur them out later or something. For now, ignore it.

4. The boys are not very good at cleaning their rooms. They are getting better. To help them I took pictures of their bins and taped them to the outside so now they know what goes where. My friend Ali Walston did this for Talon and it seemed to work great. It's kind of hard to see from the picture but you get the idea.

5. My current project is taking me a lot of time and it's annoying. I really love cookbooks. Mike used to buy me a new one each year. I love looking through them and seeing all the pictures and drooling over all the things I could make if I were a really good cook, which I'm not. I decided after looking at my messy cupboard full of cookbooks it was time to consolidate. I am scanning each recipe I use, like, or want to try. Then I will print them out and put them in a binder. I only use a few recipes from each one so why have a million cookbooks right? Anyway, my sister Gillian is getting married next week and she will inherit my cookbooks. I'll highlight the recipes we like and pass them on. It's taking forever and I only have a week to finish....

See my nice stack? And I have a bunch still in the cupboard.

The letter D

2009-01-16T08:13:00.000-08:00

Also from No time for flash cards. We made dragons. The boys loved this project.

The letter C

2009-01-16T08:08:00.000-08:00

My friend brought to my attention this fun website of ideas for kid projects: no time for flash cardsWe used two of those ideas this past month. The first one was working on the letter C. We made cookies shaped like C's and then decorated them.

B is for Beard

2008-12-18T06:52:00.000-08:00

Here is an easy, fun Christmas project. The boys colored their Santa's and then glued cotton balls on for his beard. I think cotton balls must have originally been invented to keep kids entertained. I've never met a kid that didn't love playing with cotton balls.

And yes, you are seeing right. Will likes to wear his clothes backward. He even wears his underwear backwards!

B is for Bell

2008-12-18T06:37:00.000-08:00

We made these fun, easy bells. All you need is construction paper, a marker to draw the bell, glue, and aluminum foil. We also used some glitter but that is only because the boys LOVE glitter. I think the aluminum foil is shiny enough but the glitter was fun for them. We just tore the aluminum foil into little pieces and glued them on. Easy as pie!

Family Home Evening: Temples

2008-11-21T06:48:00.001-08:00

We decided to start having our family home evening follow the general conference ensign. So this past Monday we talked about temples. We went to the temple on Wed. night and Will said, "Are you and daddy going to the temple to get married?" So, it looks like he is understanding a little bit about what happens at temples. In case you can't tell from the picture, we made the Provo temple with some bushes, a crazy tree, and a monster snake with a blanket on it.

Isaac needs a little help with his colors and shapes. I decided to have the boys make people out of shapes. They both really enjoyed it--so much so that when I went to put the baby to bed I came back to discover that they had squeezed almost the entire bottle of glue on the table and written all over the table and benches with permanent marker. So, maybe we won't be doing any of these fun little projects for awhile.

What every engaged couple should talk about

2008-11-18T18:59:00.000-08:00

I visit teach a girl and Mike home teaches her family. Mike was talking to her mom and told her that I majored in Marriage, Family, Human Development and that there were a bunch of things that I had learned about what makes a good marriage. She asked us to make a list of questions her daughter and fiance should answer before getting married. So, here is the list we compiled.

Communication:

How do you resolve differences? Do you talk through them? Clamp up? Go for a walk?
Do you believe in going to bed angry?
Do you have a friend you tell everything to? Friend? Mom?
Does everything include details of your fights?
Do you have a friend of a different gender and how will that relationship change when you get married?

Money:

How do you feel about money?
Do one or both of you have any debt? Loans?
Do you plan on buying a house?
In times of financial strain, what is the first/last thing you would give up?
In times of financial strain, would you ask parents for money? Use government programs?
Do you have savings?
Do you plan on having savings?
Who will be in charge of the money?
Will that person be the same person in charge of the budget?
Who will earn the money?
Which is worth more: time with family or overtime?
Have you discussed what a budget for your family will look like?
Will you each get a little personal money?

Relationship:

When kids come, who is more important: spouse or children?
Do you know how your spouse feels about sex?
How do you feel about your body?
How often will you go on dates?
What does romance mean to you?
What behaviors (back rubs, flowers, chocolate, candle-lit dinners) do you expect your spouse to continue after marriage?
What degree of intimacy is appropriate in front of other people? Will you be affectionate in front of your children?
At what point would you seek help from a marriage counselor?

Household:

What are each spouses responsibilities inside the home? (changing diapers, dishes, making dinner, household chores, yard stuff, home maintenance, decorating, car repairs)
Who will be in charge of food? (meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking)

Spiritual:

How do you both feel about church attendance? (do you think you should attend all your meetings, will you attend church while on vacation)?
How will you determine whose calling takes precedence?
Do you believe in saying "no" to callings?
Who will take the lead of spiritual things in your home?
Will you have family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening?
Will you have couple prayer?
How often will you attend the temple?
How do you feel about tithing?
How important are home teaching and visiting teaching?
What will you do if your spouse feels you are spending too much time with your calling?

Kids:

How many kids do you want?
Do you plan on using birth control?
How far do you want them spaced?
Do you plan on working when the kids come?
How do you plan on disciplining them? Will you both discipline the same way?

General:

What are your hobbies? Do you have common hobbies?
How will you divide holidays between your families?
Where do you want to end up living?
What rules will you have in your house?
What things will you want to carry on in your personal family? What things will you not want to carry on?(rules, traditions, bad/good habits)
What will you do if you have a problem with one of your in-laws?

Next time I'll go with a midwife

2008-03-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

Doctor: So, you didn’t take the diabetes test.
Me: No, and I’m not going to.
Doctor: (immediately turns around and snaps at me) You are going to have gestational diabetes, your baby will have diabetes, you will have a lacerated uterus. (She also listed off three other things but was talking so fast I couldn’t catch them).
Me: I have my reasons for not taking the test and I’m sticking to my decision. I’m not taking it.
Doctor: What are your reasons?
Me: (shocked that she was being so rude and attacking me, I got really mad. At this point we were both pretty much using offensive tones and raising our voices) I didn’t even fail the test in the first place.
Doctor: You did fail the test. You failed my test.
Me: I understand that you have a cut-off of 135 but I also know that to fail the test you have to have a 140. The tech at the hospital and my last doctor and the internet all say 140 means you fail. Besides, the lab tech and my friend that is a nurse told me I should’ve fasted for the first test, not just the second.
Doctor: The second test.
Me: No, they told me I should fast for both.
Doctor: Oh, so all my schooling makes me dumber than the lab tech and the nurse?
Me: No, but when multiple people tell me the same thing, I think I can take it as true.
Me: Second, I know the other symptoms to look for. I’m not measuring big, I don’t have sugar in my urine, and 25 lbs isn’t an excessive amount of weight to gain. If I am measuring large or you have found sugar in my urine, you haven’t communicated that to me.
Doctor: You are measuring perfectly and you don’t have any sugar in your urine. Just because you don’t have those symptoms doesn’t mean you don’t have it.
Me: If I did have it what would you have me change anyways?
Doctor: You would have to see a councilor, go to a nutritionist, and take your blood sugar four times a day.
Me: I have no problem doing any of those things. I’ll go buy myself a self test. I’ve done it a thousand times before on my dad’s.
Doctor: And what were your levels?
Me: They were always normal.
Doctor: Well, since you’ve looked on the internet and know everything, what is a normal level?
Me: Are you kidding me?
Doctor: 135 is my cut-off and so you failed my test.
Me: Look, I’m not going to argue with you about this. I am responsible for my body and baby.
Doctor: I am the doctor and if you don’t take this test, you need to find a different doctor.
Me: Fine. I’ll find myself another doctor.
Doctor: You don’t have to find yourself another doctor. I’ll help you find someone.
Me: Are you kidding me? If you aren’t willing to help me, why would I have you find someone for me? If I have to have this baby by myself, I will.
Doctor: (with a look of horror). Why would you say that? I’m telling you I’m willing to help you. I’ll check with so and so and tell her your results from the test. If she is ok with those levels then she will see you.
Me: First, I’m not going to see anyone you refer me to. Second, I won’t see anyone if this building.
Doctor: Why? You obviously have other problems with us then just this test.
Me: Because I’m not impressed with this office at all. You have been so concerned about this test and ignored me when I tell you my concerns about the baby coming early. You have brushed me off over and over.
Doctor: I haven’t made you feel like I’ve brushed you off. (Shocked)
Me: You might not feel that you have done that but I do and I’m the one that’s important. Your nurse has brushed me off as well. I’m not some fat pregnant lady that just sits around all day eating junk, never exercising. I am concerned about gestational diabetes. The first appointment I ever had I told your nurse I was concerned about this test and my levels on it and I wanted to know what I could do to prevent my levels from being high. She told me not to be worried about until the time came to take the test. I told her I didn’t want to wait until the end of my pregnancy when I was hormonal and anxious to deal with it. She again told me not to worry about it. So I have spent this whole pregnancy exercising and watching my weight and trying to eat better.
Doctor: Just having a good diet doesn’t mean you won’t get it. If you are predisposed you will still get it.
Me: Wait, I know that for normal diabetes you can exercise and eat right and prevent it from happening. So why is it any different when you are pregnant?
Doctor: Well, if you are predisposed…
Me: (thankful I had read my family blog and read the comment by my brother about cancer) Right, but just because I have a gene doesn’t mean I’ll get it.
Doctor: (starting to calm down) Well, you are right. I’m sorry that you had to wait so long in the lab. We didn’t know they were making people wait.
Me: It’s not just the lab. I come here and wait for two hours before I see anyone. If you are gone, they don’t tell you until you’ve been waiting for an hour.
Doctor: They are supposed to tell you.
Me: Oh, they do—just an hour later.
Doctor: Well, I know they also sometimes check people in and get you in a room and then don’t tell you once you’re in the room either.
Me: Look, I don’t blame you for the wait in the lab or in the waiting room. If I were having my baby I would want you to come to the hospital and deliver me. I just think it’s rude to make people wait here for you without telling them you are gone. I’m not the only one with this problem. I have friends that come here and they experience the same thing.
Doctor: I am sorry. Look, I’ll continue to see you if you will come to a compromise. What do you want to do?
Me: Do you honestly think I have gestational diabetes?
Doctor: (hesitant) Well, the chances are slim but I can’t say you don’t have it because your levels were high. I’ll send you to a different lab. You fast over night and then go get your levels taken. Go home and eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich. Then come back in two hours and take your levels again.
Me: That is part of the problem. They make you stay there. I can’t make my kids stay there and my husband can’t take another day of work off.
Doctor: Ok, well, I’ll write it as two orders and they won’t have to give you the drink so they can’t make you stay.
Me: Ok. I have no problem doing that.
Doctor: Alright. If the levels come back fine, I’ll never bug you again. Are we ok?
Me: Look, I’m didn’t mean to make you feel like I thought my nurse friend and the lab tech were smarter than you.
Doctor: Well, they actually are right. The level is 140 but depending on where you go to school or what area you practice in you have to go by a certain level and in this area the level is 135. I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt your baby. I see you are a good, informed mom. I just have a lot of patients that come in and are noncompliant so I have to have rules and if someone doesn’t follow them I can’t see them. So that is why I said I couldn’t see you earlier.
Me: Well, I tried to take the test twice already so I’m obviously not noncompliant.
Doctor: Ok, are we all good? (with a smile) How are you doing? Is your blood pressure back to normal?

Clean or spend time with my boys?

2008-03-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what has happened to my formatting and it is driving me crazy so just ignore that.

I have been trying to be more efficient in getting my chores done so I can spend more time with the boys and doing other essential things. It seems like an inner fight all the time though. Do I just spend the minimum time cleaning? Do I spend one day cleaning thouroughly and then the other days doing fun things with the boys and only clean up the surface things? Do I do one chore a day besides the daily things like cleaning dishes? Do I take one hour each day and do as much as I can? Probably, if I were a cleaner person to start with it wouldn't be such a struggle. I don't know though. Kids will make messes no matter how clean you are. You have to eat and have to have clean dishes to eat off of. There is only one of me....

Anyway, I have been thinking A LOT about this and trying to find solutions that fit me and our family lifestyle. I will never be a neat freak. I will never have a spotless house every day. But I can learn to be more organized and clean as I go along. And I can teach the boys to clean up after themselves so I don't have to do it all. Even as young as they are they can learn not to just drop their things on the floor for me to clean up.

So, I was reading this article I had to read in one of my college classes about efficiency and organization of time and energy. The concern is that when you introduce efficiency into your home, you end up giving up other important things. The author of the article, Dorothy Lee said, "We have built homes as if they were backgrounds to set off our imaginately selected furniture and our fabric, our artistic arrangements and color combinations, and particularly kitchen as if they were there to set off the wonderfully designed new household equipment, in which we can perform our time-saving operations most efficiently. Somehow we forget to build a home for a zestful, boisterous, untidy existence, full of the opportunity and invitaion to real talk and quarreling and anguish and absorbing spontaneous activities. Does my pale wall-to-wall carpeting encourage the tracking of autumn leaves as my children come home? Perhaps I have taken the precaution of building a special door, so that they can go directly to the rumpus room or their own rooms, leaving me to my efficient meal preparation and my living room intact, with its tomb-like perfection undisturbed. Does my kitchen invite a rush of noisy feet to find out what is cooking, to batter me with excited accounts of the day's happenings or even with offers of help? Or have I planned it so successfully, with such step-saving, muscle-bound efficiency, that it freezes out my husband and my children?"

She goes on to say that "we have become so engrossed with saving time and effort, we have emphasized efficiency so exclusively, that we have away along with the 'needless' labor, the bright thread of meaning....What exactly are you doing to my life? Will the labor 'saving'--that is eliminated--take the main way I had for relating to my daughter [or son] and intoducing me to her [or him] into the mysteries of a woman's [or man's] life? Will it take the joy of creating away from me? The bustle and rhythm of work that fills my home with life? Will my muscles grow flabby, so that I shall have to so sterile sitting-up exercises to take the place of my meaningful
work?"

It's a very confusing thing for me. On the one hand, I am often embarrassed when someone randomly shows up at my house and feel I should apologize for the mess. This past Sunday a friend came to our house after church unexpectedly just as we were walking in the door. I was
mortified. Sunday's are supposed to be a clean day but they are anything but clean at our house! It is all I can do to get us ready and to church on time, let alone keep our house clean before we get there. Is it more important for my children to see a clean house on a Sunday or to teach them that it's important to get to church on time? The argument can be made that Saturday is the day for cleaning so on Sunday it should all be done. We have church at 1:00. I'd like to see the mom that can keep her kids from dirtying the house by the time they leave for church.

It is virtually impossible to explain to a 20 month old that he can't walk on the floor while you are mopping. He doesn't understand and therefore, the result is a crying baby because of multiple slips and bonked heads. So is the solution to turn on a TV show to entertain them while I separate myself in the other room to mop?

Another example is when the boys want to cook with me. They feel very upset if I tell them no. We have a very small kitchen and not a ton of counter space. When they help there is no room for movement because they just have to have a chair to stand on and each just has to have his own chair. By the end of their "helping" there are eggs, or flour, or any number of ingredients spilled all over my kitchen. While they've had a great time and I've gotten to spend quality time with them, I am also then left with a huge mess to clean up that could have been avoided if I didn't let them help me. So what is the solution?

I just can't have it all. I feel it is important to have a clean house. I've said this before but if your house is dirty how can you have an envionment that invites the spirit? But I also can't figure out where to draw the line. How can I get over the feeling of embarrassment when someone comes to my house and sees that my bookshelves haven't been dusted for months and months (gasp!!!) or that my kitchen and dining room floors haven't been mopped in over a week?

Again, what is the solution? Any ideas for me?

Need to make use of some of your left over plastic eggs?

2008-03-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

Will can count but he can't recognize his numbers so I thought we could work on that with these eggs. He also knows his ABC's and only gets the hard ones confused like q and p. He is still young to know how to put the letters together but I figured we could practice them anyway. He is just so interested in his letters. The other day he say a stop sign and said, "Mom! That hoctagon has my letters on it!" I asked him what letters they were and he told me them. Of course, he can't really read it though. So, here is an idea: Get plastic eggs and put the numbers on one half of the egg. Then on the bottom half draw dots that go with that number. Let him match them. With the letters I just did his name and then a T for his middle name and an R for his last name. I wrote the letter so that it was on both sides of the egg and then he has to match them to make the letter.

Another thing we did this week was match with M&M's. He got to count all the red, green, blue, etc. Then I had him do a sequence. Anyway, I don't have an original bone in my body so don't go thinking I made all these things up in my head. Everything comes from my experience teaching at the preschool.

Eating

2008-01-16T12:54:00.000-08:00

A year ago I was having a really hard time getting Will to eat anything. His doctor suggested I buy the book How to get your kid to eat...But not too much by Ellyn Satter. I got the book and really find it useful.

She gives a few facts about children's eating:
Children will eat. They are capable of regulating their food intake. They generally react negatively to new foods but will usually accept them with time and experience. Parents can either support or disrupt children's food acceptance and food regulation.

She then says that the golden rule for parenting with food is:
Parents are responsible for what is presented to eat and the manner in which it is presented.
Children are responsible for how much and even whether they eat.

The book is essentially based around that rule. She says you get them a balanced meal and your job is basically done. Then they are responsible for eating it. She discourages any kind of forcing. She gives examples of parents that have forced their children and it backfires. She points out that kid's appetites change every day. One day your child might eat like a bird and the next day he/she might eat everything in sight. She said that is ok and that is why you shouldn't be worried about forcing them--they will eat when they are hungry. She says that parents shouldn't be a quick order cook. Your kid needs to realize that you have provided a good healthy meal and if they don't eat it, too bad--you will provide another one soon.

Something I found interesting was that she encouraged parents to let them eat any part of the meal first. Don't hide the dessert and tell them they have to eat their meal first to get dessert. She said it is ok to put the dessert on the table and let them eat it even if they don't eat the other things. Her reasoning is just that forcing will backfire and you don't want them to develop a negative feeling towards food. If you don't let them have dessert because it's not healthy enough they might start developing negative feelings for food and in turn, negative feelings towards their bodies. She said if you deprive them of certain foods, it will heighten their interest towards them and therefore, it is better to include less-desirable foods occasionally and matter-of-factly than not at all. She includes that you should take the opportunity to explain that they aren't as good as some other foods but occasionally it won't interfere with their diet. This one is really hard for me. I know Will is going to want that dessert and that when he gets it he won't eat anything else. So sometimes I break this rule and make him eat his other things first.

I have noticed that she is right about a lot of things if not all. When we force Will at all he gets so stubborn and will then refuse to eat anything. It is just a fight. If we just let him do his thing, he usually eats better. Also, she talks about introducing foods over and over and over before they will eat it. In a parenting class at BYU they said a kid have to be introduced to a food 15 times before they will even try that new food. Crazy. That has proven to be true with Will. Previously, he wouldn't eat bananas, peaches, strawberries, or carrots. I just put them on the table and put one on his plate each time we eat them. I have said, "Those are so good Will, we'd like you to try one." And he usually will say "no" and then that is the end of the conversation and it gets thrown away when dinner is over. But, now, he eats them! It has taken a long time but now he will eat them without me saying anything. There are other foods we are still working on, mainly any vegetable, but it is encouraging to see that if I just keep putting them on the table and have a good attitude about that food he will eventually try it.

The other thing she is right about it the changing appetite. Will is not a big eater. Some days I wonder how he survives. But other days he will eat nonstop. For instance, two days ago he eat maybe a bite of food at each meal. Today he will eat everything. We had eggs for breakfast and he had all his eggs and some toast and milk. At lunch he had peaches, and milk and three (!) jumbo hotdogs. Because I know this about him, I don't worry too much on the days he doesn't eat anything.

Some other things she writes about that I like are that parents should take their child's preferences into consideration when preparing meals. She said to think about what he/she likes and provide some of those things so there is something they recognize and enjoy instead of just unfamiliar things and things they dislike. I try this with Will and it seems to work. If I know we are having something he doesn't like (salad) then I try to provide at least one thing he will like (garlic bread).

The one thing she recommends that she believes will improve the nutrition of the child is to have family meals. One thing I can't remember if she recommends or not but that Mike and I have decided to do is to allow one thing Will can eat if he doesn't eat any dinner. It is always a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That way I am not a quick order cook and he still has something to choose from. He knows I will not just cook something else for him but if he wants a sandwich he may have that and that is it. It seems to work for us.

I totally recommend this book to anyone having eating problems. She goes through the stages of children's ages so if you have problems with an infant, she addresses that and so forth. She also has sections in the book for eating disorders and children with disabilities. It's a good book. Go check it out.

Quiet time

2008-01-11T13:45:00.000-08:00

There is something that I've started with my boys that I think every mother should do. I wonder why some moms don't do this. Recently Will has stopped napping. I love when my children nap but I also understand that at some point that has to end and from what I have read, it's usually around 2 1/2 or 3. So I put Isaac down for his nap and then I put Will in his room for quiet time. It is wonderful.

Sometimes I have him sit in his bed and he will sing to himself or talk to himself. Other times he just has to stay in there and read or play by himself. I make him stay in there for at least one hour. I haven't put quiet music on in his room because I don't have a working CD player right now but I think that would be a good idea too.

I realize that if you have never made your kids take naps or have quiet time that you might think it is impossible to make your kid sit for five minutes. It might be a challenge but I still think every mom should make their kids have quiet time. Will is a good kid when it comes to obeying me. He rarely comes out of his room when I tell him to stay in there. I think some of my other kids will be more difficult but I am going to make them all have quiet time in their rooms.

Aside from the benefits I think they get, I love having that time to myself. My kids don't like to play by themselves that much. They love for me to be with them while they play. But this is a time where they can play all by themselves and I can do anything I want or need (nap when I'm pregnant or mop the kitchen floor). Today I went in after an hour to let Will come out and he was in his room with all his toys dumped out all over and books all over and he had changed into his pj's. He had his blankets down from his bed and said he was sleeping on the floor. I asked if he wanted to come out and he said, "No. I'm playing. You can go out." So I shut the door and he played for another hour! Wonderful. He doesn't stay in there that long every day. Some days he will stay in for the hour and then come out and draw while I fold laundry. Anyway, I would tell every mom to give their kids quiet time!

I found this article online that talked about the benefits of quiet time. I just want to say "Amen" to all of it.

Replacing naps with an hour or so of solo quiet time will not only give you a much needed break during the day but it will also give your child a chance to relax and learn some much needed life skills. To make the transition, you need to be aware of changes in your child's schedule. As soon as you notice them taking shorter naps or having a difficult time settling down for naps, you need to begin preparing for them to end. Depending on your child's schedule, you will need to introduce the idea of quiet time either prior to their nap or immediately after they wale up from it. For a child that is having problems settling down and falling sleep, explain the idea of quiet time before a nap. Instruct them to play quietly in bed with a favorite doll or toy, read a picture book or daydream. For children that wake up early, place quiet toys in their bed or near it for them to play with as soon as they wake up. In either case, it is a good idea to explain to your child that they are to play quietly for a while before coming out of their room. As your child's sleeping time declines, increase the time that they are expected to play quietly in their room. Before long, their entire nap time will be replaced with quiet time.

Benefits:

Self-reliance- children who are given the chance to be alone for short periods of time in a safe setting have better decision-making skills and self-reliance skills than those who are not. During quiet time, children are able to choose what game they want to play, problem-solve to avoid boredom, and rely on themselves for entertainment.

Relaxation skills- quiet time gives children a chance to spend time awake relaxing and moving at a slower pace. The skills they learn during this time will aid them in their adult life when they choose activities for relaxation and mediation.

• Comfort with being alone- being comfortable alone is a skill that your child will need often in their adult life. By starting them out with this concept at a young age, children will learn to be comfortable with themselves and prolonged periods of aloneness.

• Imagination skills- when children are left alone to entertain themselves they have to draw on their imagination skills to come up with activities and games. Too often, children are bombarded by structured activities and games and they do not get the chance to create their own amusements.

• Independence- while allowing your children the option to make their own choices throughout the day will help to foster their independence, having alone time will also help them gain the skills necessary to live an independent life. While they are alone they will be forced to make decisions, although very limited ones, and this skill will help them believe in their decisions and themselves.

Many parents that include quiet time as part of their parenting routine state that they have more responsible, more grounded children. Many children that are introduced to quiet time at a young age continue the practice well into their teen or even adult years. http://www.kidsfirstinternet.org/infoquiettime.html

2007-12-27T09:15:00.000-08:00

In my family growing up my mom had us write letters to Jesus at Christmas. We would write a "gift" that we wanted to give to him. I have been thinking about that a lot the past month. I was trying to decide what I could improve and work towards this year. I got pretty sick this past month and Mike asked if I wanted a blessing. I accepted his offer and was surprised to find that he instructed me to be more organized and prioritize my life better. He blessed me to do these things so that I could be more efficient and therefore, able to rest and relax when I needed to.

The next day I read the talk by Sister Beck again. There were a lot of things in her talk that inspired me and one in particular since my mind was focused on becoming more organized. She talked about how we need to create in our homes an environment that allows for learning--be more organized and learn to be the best homemaker. I took from her talk the idea of eliminating the unnecessary and choosing the best activities for myself and my children.

I was reminded of an article I read in college. The article is awesome and I have read it multiple times since then. I remember being so inspired and so satisfied with the life I was choosing as a mother. At the time I wasn't a mother yet and I wasn't even married but I remember knowing exactly what Heavenly Father wanted me to do. The article really shows the importance of the everyday work of a mom. I think one of my favorite things from the article is the idea that we don't have to make our homes sacred like the temple, but that the sacredness is already there.

So this year I am focusing on becoming a better mom and within that over-arching goal, to be a better organizer and find ways for our home to run more smoothly so that I can have time to do the most important things--teaching my children about the Savior and bringing my own personal life closer to Him.

Julie Beck's talk

2007-12-24T07:33:00.000-08:00

I got an email from my friend Steff about Julie Beck's talk. I wanted to see what people were saying. I only looked up these two links. I am wondering what you all think about it. I don't know if I'll get comments on this blog but I'll write my own opinions later.

http://www.bloggerofjared.com/2007/04/04/your-general-relief-society-president-julie-b-beck/

http://www.kvnuforthepeople.com/?p=893

Interesting articles

2007-12-15T13:55:00.000-08:00

I thought these were interesting. The part about get more sleep with a new baby is funny to me though. They said they are doing research to figure out how to get a mom more sleep with a new baby. Ha. I'd like to see that! But I liked both articles. My favorite was probably the "Kiss your partner passionately," "eat avacodos," and "eat fruit salads." Check out the sleep article here and the food health article here. They are short. What do you think of the articles?

Another FHE idea

2007-11-20T14:41:00.000-08:00

Last night I had tons of grocery shopping to do but way too many other errands to do during the day so we decided to go for Family Home Eveing. Beforehand, we talked to Will about the Word of Wisdom and told him that Heavenly Father wants us to keep our bodies healthy and that some foods are good and some bad. We listed some good and bad foods from D&C 89 and then we found different foods on the computer for Will to find at the grocery store. We let him choose four pictures he wanted to find. It was an easy way to teach him while doing an everyday activity.

Devotion

2007-11-17T13:18:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about what to post and I was going to post on a book about helping your kids eat but I have decided instead to post about something that has been on my mind for awhile now. I thought this blog was more appropriate to post this on than my other blog because I believe that my role as a mother and wife are directly related to my devotion to my religion.

It is hard for me to understand all my thoughts about this topic. I was trying to talk to Mike about it and my thoughts all seemed jumbled. Let me see if I can be more clear in writing than I was in talking to him.

I have some friends in my ward that are wonderful people. They are nice and fun and generous. One friend in particular I have struggled with but I have a true desire to be her friend and I believe that it is possible. The other friend I really like a lot. She seems so down to earth and we think similarly on a lot of things. Lately though, I have noticed things that have made me somewhat unsettled and a little disappointed in my friend's and their husbands.

Both couples take their church attendance lightly. They don't like Sunday School so they either go home or hide in a room where no one will find them. One girl is nursing and she will nurse during sacrament. Having two children of my own, I know how normal this is. What isn't normal is that her husband will go with her and only go into Sacrament after she comes too. They skip Stake Conference, go to parades instead of church, and only do the minimum required in their callings. Sunday school is often a time for them to hold presidency meetings or prepare for the class they have to teach the next hour. I guess the thing that is discouraging for me is that these couples are in positions in our ward of leadership. They are in positions where they are looked up to. They all have children and are in positions where they are teaching other children.

Everyone has their own level of devotion and testimony. It isn't fair for me to judge someones devotion based off of mine. When Mike and I got married I felt like I had just been on a mission or something. I had this job that was so uplifting. I was engrossed in the scriptures and teaching from them. I was bringing people back to the Savior and it was a wonderful experience. When we got married though, I had to quit that job and I quickly felt my spiritual life slacken. I still read my scriptures and said my prayers but it was very different. I often forgot to read and was so involved with trying to figure out a spiritual intimacy with my new husband that I often let my own slide. I wonder if that makes sense. Anyway, when I realized what was happening I have spent the rest of our married four years trying to get back what I let slide. I am very aware of the holes in my spirituality and what I am lacking in my devotion. Therefore, it truly is unfair for me to judge someones faithfulness.

I've been trying to understand why I am so bothered by their behavior. I don't know what their background was growing up--did their parents teach them through their examples that going to their meetings weren't important? Why do I feel differently than them? In my family we went to church every Sunday unless we were really sick. All my friends went to church. When I left and went to college, my roommates and I all went to church every Sunday. We went to firesides, attended the temple together, sometimes went to institute together, and carried out our callings faithfully. I had visiting teachers that were spectacular.

I can look back at all these influences and see how they shaped my current beliefs. Would I be as devoted to trying to be a good visiting teacher if I had crappy ones in college? If my roommates didn't think church attendance was important would I have gone by myself every week? If my parents didn't read scriptures to us and talk to us about religion consistently would I read my scriptures or talk to my children about Jesus Christ. Thankfully, don't have to answer that question. I did have good parents, roommates, friends, visiting teachers, bishops, etc.

It is deeply ingrained in me that you do what you should do even if it is hard. I admit that last week my boys were sick and I stayed home with them and it was such a relief. Even taking care of sick babies was more peaceful for me than going to church and fighting with them in Sacrament. But I KNOW that church is where we need to be. I know that my boys need to see Mike and I attend our meetings. They need to know that sometimes they get a babysitter because their mom and dad are going to Stake meetings. They need to catch us praying and reading our scriptures. They need to learn that even if I don't love all the time I miss with Mike because of his church callings that I support him the best I can. I want them to learn that I pray about my callings and I expect to receive inspiration to know how to serve better.

I feel so strongly about the example we give our children. Our primary in this ward is struggling so much right now because there aren't enough teachers in our ward that are devoted to their callings and willing to show up with a lesson prepared. Our children aren't getting taught. What can we expect from our children if we don't teach them? What can we expect to see them doing on Sundays if we don't attend our meetings? In our Primary we have only three families that have an active mother and father and only two of those families actually attend ALL their meetings. What will happen to all the children in my Primary? I am always surprised when they don't know the basic stories of Ammon cutting the arms, or Nephi building the boat. But then I remember that these kids aren't taught at home and then come to church and their teachers don't teach them either. It is very discouraging for me.

Anyway, this experience has strengthened my testimony. It has helped me question my own devotion and think of the areas that I need to be better at. It has also renewed my gratitude to my Heavenly Father. How thankful I am that I had parents that went to church every week! I am grateful that I caught my dad reading scriptures every night and caught them both on their knees at night. I am grateful for good friends that had the same beliefs as me. I am especially grateful for my roommates who helped me be faithful even when I had no parents around to tell me what to do. What great examples I have had! And most importantly, I'm thankful for a husband that takes his faith so seriously. I grateful for the chance I have to renew my devotion and become a better person and a better example for my children.

Learning about pigs

2007-11-07T06:15:00.000-08:00

Ok, so this didn't exactly work as I had hoped but Will still liked it. We just cut our egg carton, let Will paint it pink, used the hole-punch to put holes and strung string through. I would suggest next time using a white egg carton.

Starfish

2007-10-26T08:42:00.000-07:00

Today we made a starfish. We learned how starfish aren't smooth, but are rough. I let him play with a starfish we have and then he helped me cut one out. He is great at cutting little lines everywhere but he has no clue how to actually cut on a line. So, he needed a little help. Then we practiced writing an S. As mentioned in the last post, he can't write his letters--but it was a good try. Then we just glued oatmeal all over so his starfish would be rough. Very easy project. It took like ten minutes and I had all the materials already. He has a little wall that he likes to hang all his projects on. I'll include a picture of that another day.

Whale activity

2007-10-25T08:23:00.001-07:00

I have been busy so I haven't posted here for a long time. I thought I'd share this fun activity I did with Will. We made a Whale and talked about where they live and what they look like. We wrote a W on the back of the plate and Will practiced writing his W's. He knows his letters but has no clue how to write them. So, this is a beginning.

I am a Mother

2007-08-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

I read this article that my friend brought over. It is excellent and reminded me of how important it is for me to view being a mother. The article was written by Jane Clayson Johnson, a former co-host of The Early Show and an LDS mother. A few quotes from the article:

"....I have learned that God's definition of motherhood and the world's definition are vastly different. And sometimes--probably all too often--the challenges, daily physical and emotional exhaustion, and occasional self-doubt that come along with being a mother cause many of us to buy into an inaccurate and destructive understanding of our role. There just doesn't seem to be a lot of joy--or fulfillment--assosiated with the world's interpretation of motherhood."

"Are you protective of your role as a mother? When asked, do you meekly respond that you're 'just a mother' or do you confidently declare, 'I'm a mother'?" Jane Clayson Johnson

Meg Whitman, the CEO of eBay said that her biggest regret was not spending enough time with her children. When asked if the illusion that you can have it all really existed she said, "I actually don't think so. I think you can have a wonderful life, but you have to decide what trade-offs you're willing to make." (The Early Show, CBS, December 19, 2000)

I am not willing to trade being a mother so I can have any other job.

Family Home Evening

2007-08-12T17:23:00.001-07:00

We had a family council today before Mike headed off to his meetings. One of the things we decided to do was to compile a list of FHE ideas so that it would be easier for us to think of things to do. Here is the start of the list. There are still a lot of things to add. If you have ideas, let me know. We are interested in knowing what everyone else does. I like to repeat what Will learned in Nursery sometimes. In over a year, he has only gotten three Nursery lessons though--new leader so now he is getting lessons.

2007-08-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

Family Home Evening ideas

FHE ideas continuing over from Nursery

If I can say Hippopotamus I can say "I'm sorry"

Teach about being kind and saying sorry to people

Homes

Discuss all the places animals, bugs, etc. live. Explain that we live in homes.
Teach what things we do in our homes (obey, clean, use nice words)

Read from children's Book of Mormon we got from Grandma R.

Read stories from the friend

Teach about being grateful.

Talk about what it means to be grateful
Draw pictures of things we are grateful for
Write them down on our gratitude wall

Another grateful lesson

Talk about being grateful
Make cookies for someone you are grateful for and take them cookies

Cleanliness

What does it mean to be clean?
What things do we clean?
Clean something (house, car, toys, room)

Heavenly Father gave me my senses

Make something (maybe a yummy food or a feeling book with soft and rough things)

The Creation

Teach how Heavenly Father created everything
Use play dough to make something He has created

I love the earth

Go for a walk and talk about all the things in the earth Heavenly Father made for us

Taking care of our bodies

God created our bodies
Discuss the things are bodies can do
What things should we do to take care of our bodies?
Play a game that requires you to use your bodies (Simon says, a game with balls or a sport, etc.)
Eat a healthy snack for the treat

Learning

Heavenly Father wants us to learn things
Go to the library and talk about how books help us learn

Families are forever

Talk about how we are sealed for Eternity
Take a trip to the temple and walk around the grounds

Another Family lesson

Look through family photo albums and talk about the pictures
Talk about why families are important

Act out a scripture story

Heavenly Father created animals

Go to the animal shelter or to Petsmart

I want to be a missionary

Talk about what missionaries do
Write letters to missionaries

The Prophet said to plant a garden

Work in the garden
Make something yummy by using things from your garden

Watch a church video

An interesting article I read yesterday

2007-08-12T16:46:00.000-07:00

Stressed mothers may lead to sleepless babies
Mom's anxiety or depression can affect brain development, study suggests

NEW YORK - A mother’s anxiety or depression during pregnancy may affect her child’s sleep patterns early in life, a new study suggests.
Researchers found that babies and toddlers whose mothers had such symptoms during pregnancy tended to have more sleep problems than other young children.
The investigators suspect that elevated stress hormones that mark depression and anxiety may shape fetal brain development in a way that disturbs early-life sleep patterns.

It’s important for young children to develop healthy sleep habits not only for the sake of their tired parents, according to lead study author Dr. Thomas O’Connor, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Rochester in Rochester, N.Y.
Sleep problems have, for instance, been linked to a higher risk of behavioral problems in childhood, he said. “Quality of sleep early on may be a good indicator of healthy development,” O’Connor told Reuters Health.
The implication, he said, is that taking care of mothers’ stress during pregnancy could help not only them but also their children.
“I think the message is, let’s take stress and anxiety during pregnancy seriously,” O’Connor said. He and his colleagues reported their findings in the July issue of the journal Early Human Development.

The results are based on a survey of more than 14,000 British women who answered questions about anxiety and depression symptoms during and after pregnancy. They were also surveyed about their children’s sleep habits at ages 6 months, 18 months and 30 months.
In general, mothers with greater symptoms during pregnancy reported more sleep problems with their children — such as frequent nighttime awakenings, difficulty falling asleep and, with older children, regularly refusing to go to bed.

Mothers’ symptoms of depression and anxiety after giving birth did not explain the link between prenatal symptoms and child sleep problems. “This supports the notion that there’s something special about the prenatal period,” O’Connor said.

It’s not clear yet how to best alleviate stress and anxiety in pregnancy, or whether this would lessen children’s sleep problems. More study is needed, O’Connor said, but potential options include relaxation therapy and other non-drug approaches that would not carry a risk of adverse effects on the fetus. It’s also important to remember that some worries and emotional ups and downs are to be expected with pregnancy, O’Connor noted. It’s when symptoms begin to impair a woman’s daily life, such as her ability to work or get along normally in her relationships, that there may be a problem.

Dating

2007-07-28T11:40:00.000-07:00

Mike has to give a talk/discussion with the youth tomorrow on dating. We've been talking about it together and it is interesting to discover the different opinions we both have. Mike asked me what the difference between hanging out with a bunch of kids and going on a group date. The difference in my mind is that on a group date you have a date. You all go together, do the same activity, etc., but you have a date that pays for you, picks you up and all that good stuff.

Another question about dating: Why should you group date rather than have a steady boyfriend or girlfriend? I like to think about this in terms of food (of course, because everything in my life revolves around food). If you have never tried Chinese food it is better to go to a buffet where you can try lots of different kinds rather than go to one Chinese restaurant and order one thing 15 different times. Someone might say, "But buffets are never as good as the real food. So wouldn't you want to go to the real Chinese restaurant?" Yes, but by going to the buffet you can get a general idea of the kind of Chinese foods you like and then take a trip to the Chinese restaurant and order that specific thing. You can then revel in the delicious flavors of that plate of food rather than take a bite and ask yourself, "Do I like this?"

I had really good dating experiences. I didn't have a steady boyfriend until I was 21 but I had gone on lots of dates up until that point. By the time I had to make a decision to actually find my spouse I knew exactly what I was looking for.

Something I think that is essential to know about before you start steady dating someone is about intimacy. I don't mean you have to know about it from experience. I believe that before you start involving yourself in a physical relationship you need to know what things are appropriate. That seems obvious to me but some people are really naive about those things and when it starts happening they don't know how far is too far or what things are ok. I remember a friend that held her boyfriend's hand for the first time and thought maybe she had to talk to her bishop because she was aroused by it. She needed to understand that those feelings are ok to have and that some intimacy before marriage is good. Of course it is also important to know what things are not ok so that when in the situation you don't have to make the decision as to whether what is happening is good or bad.

Now that I am married dating takes on a new meaning. I think continued dating after marriage is so important--without children! When Mike and I go on dates without the boys we are excited to come back and see them. We feel our relationship has been renewed and we continue to develop a relationship outside of our roles as partners in parenting. I know of a man who, when asked how he would describe his relationship with his wife said, "We are compatible." That is good and also a little sad. I don't want that to be the first thing that comes to Mike's mind when he describes our relationship (although, I think I am more compatible with Mike than any other guy I ever dated). I have always thought it is sad when you find a couple who's kids have moved out and the couple has no idea what to do with each other. Their entire relationship has been based on their roles as parents rather than their role as a spouse. Mike and I go in spurts where we are really good at going on dates and then don't go for a long time (mainly because it's expensive to get a babysitter!).

Hmmm. Maybe I'll write a post about my experience dating Mike before we got married. That would be fun for me to remember but I doubt it would be as interesting to anyone else. Maybe I'll do it anyway. We'll see. I'll keep you posted (no pun intended).

Helping your children make a move smoothly

2007-07-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

My family moved A LOT growing up and I have to admit that I hated it. Each time we moved it was because of a job change. There was never a time when we moved somewhere and I felt that it was permenant. It was only a matter of time before we moved again. What would the next school be like? Would I make friends? At one point my mom thougth I had ulcers because I worried so much about going to school and would tell her I was sick everyday. Moving for me wasn't a great experience. Mike's family moved a lot too. For him, it was an entirely different experience. For him it was just a new adventure. When they moved they knew where they were going and his dad had a solid job at the new place.

My sister Chelsey moved yesterday. This is their first time living away from the family. They have three children, two of which are in elementary school. Mike and I will be moving anywhere between a year and a year and a half. Moving with just Mike and I isn't a problem for me but moving our children every four years is. When we move, there are a few things I will try to do to make the move a better experience.

1. Tell them about the move as soon as possible
2. Welcome their questions
3. Have a positive attitude about the move!
4. Let them help pack their things (but make sure you don't pack their favorite things like the favorite blankie or something)
5. Use maps and pictures of the new place so it can be more concrete in their mind
6. Point out that their lives won't change dramatically. Even though it might see that way, they will still have their family, pets, toys, interests, etc. Help them understand that they can still do all the things they like in the new place.
7. Help them create and address book and say their goodbyes or help them make a scrapbook of their friends and old neighborhood.
8. For younger kids, keep their schedules as consistent as you can
9. When you get to the new place, let them check out the school they will be going to
10. Help them plan their new bedroom
11. If possible, let them scope out the new neighborhood
12. Help your children get involved by helping them meet neighbor kids, new teachers, kids at church. Also help them get involved in community activities (sports, YMCA, etc)

Enough with the guilt already

2007-07-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

I have recently read a few different mommy blogs. You know the ones? They are all about mommy things. But more than that, they are all about how much better they are as a mom because they do certain things that most moms don't do in today's society. These things include using cloth diapers, having an unassisted childbirth, and baby wearing. They nix immunizations and circumcision is absolutely a sin. They co-sleep and breastfeeding is the only possible option for a healthy baby and a perfect mom. I just want to address some of these issues. I haven't done a ton of research on these but I have done some. On top of that I have had two healthy boys (not very many but experience none the less).

First thing is about the cloth diapers. I wanted to see why everyone was all interested in cloth diapers. My mom used cloth diapers until maybe her second to last baby (so the 10th). I remember having to help her fold them, wash them, and pin them with those monster pins. The kid would pee and you have to take the plastic covering off and then take the dripping wet diaper off. Then of course you have to dump the poop in the toilet, not to mention wash them. Now, that was a long time ago. Now the diapers are much more sophisticated. They are these cute little plastic diapers with mesh material inside and little snaps on the outside. I have a friend that uses them and I have to say that in observing her it seems to me that while not quite as messy it is still messy. She has a little bag she puts the dirty ones in when she is not at home and then has cloth wipes that she sprays and then puts those in the bag. So, what are the advantages? On the web it says that they are environmentally friendly, cheaper, and contribute to less rashes. They also say something crazy like regular diapers contribute to male sterilization because they are hotter than cloth diapers. I just have to say that I have used regular diapers for two years and my boys hardly ever get rashes. One of the arguments is that when you have a cloth diaper you can tell it is wet faster and therefore change it more often, thus cutting down on the rashes. The solution to this would be just to change your kid's diaper. I don't know many moms that let their kids run around with a dirty diaper very long. So, that argument doesn't hold up very well to me. The main good thing in my mind is that they are cheaper. This still isn't a good enough reason for me to use them.

Unassisted childbirth is all about having a natural birth and letting your body do what it was designed to do. It is this euphoric experience. It is my opinion that having a baby is euphoric no matter how you have it. I guess my problem with UC is that while a woman can educate herself about the birthing process she most likely doesn't have a medical degree that specializes in handling problems that can go wrong during the birth. What happens when something goes wrong? I would feel really guilty if something went very wrong and because I wanted to have a "natural" experience, my child or myself was hurt in the process. It is true that thousands of babies were born in the olden days without assistance. I would also say that thousands of babies died for this reason too. My only other thought on this is that many of these blogs post pictures of their births, the whole process with their naked bodies on display for the world to see. The idea being that it is a beautiful process and experience. It is a sacred process. While to them, posting these pictures allows others to see into the sacred experience, my opinion is that it takes away from the sacredness of it.

The argument about circumcision is that babies weren't born circumcised and that when you circumcise a boy you are taking away the most sensitive parts of the p*n*s and therefore, taking away the maximum pleasure they can have in s*x. I guess my thought is, if they haven't experienced it, they don't really know what they are missing do they? I have heard that medically it is smarter to circumcise your boy. Again, I haven't done a ton of research on this one but I don't see what the big deal is.

Breastfeeding. Oh man, I could write a lot about this one but I will try to be brief. First, I agree it is the best thing for your baby. I have no argument for that. I have had both experiences--bottle and breastfeeding. My bottle fed boy is much healthier than my breastfed baby. I am just as connected to him as I am to my breastfed baby. There are plenty of women that decide not to breastfeed their babies because it is inconvenient or they just don't want to. There are others however, that struggle with it because they maybe don't produce enough milk, they take a medicine that is unsafe for the baby, etc. It is my experience that you can be as connected to your child as you want. You can still make bottle feeding a rewarding and bonding time. Your child can still be happy and smart. As a side note, what about being appropriate? You can still breastfeed and not have to make the rest of the world uncomfortable because you whip out your breast to feed your child. Sometimes it is just inappropriate to breastfeed your child in public without covering yourself or taking the people around you into consideration.

Co-sleeping I have no problem with except that I don't like it. It doesn't work for me and I am selfish about my sleep. My first child had colic and he didn't nap during the day so when he finally slept at night I wanted to sleep at night! I didn't want to be woken up by all his little noises. I wanted to have my time with my husband without a baby attached to me 24/7. I didn't have to worry about having a 11 month old wake me up twenty times a night to eat because I had become the human pacifier. I also didn't have to worry about getting my toddler in his own bed because he never was in my bed. Some people might call that selfish. I call it smart.

In my classes at BYU we discussed the attachment theory. It is just the tie that a person forms with another person. In some experiments done on children a mother and child are in a room with toys. A stranger comes in, the mother leaves the room, the child protests. The stranger leaves the room, the mother comes back in and comforts the child and then goes back out. A stranger comes in and tries to comfort the child but is unsuccessful. The mother comes back in and comforts the child and the child then runs off to play with the toys. So, from the experiment you see that the child is attached to the mother and as long as she is in the room she feels safe enough to go play on her own. Mothers that baby wear (use slings or backpacks or other similar things) believe that if you don't use these things your child won't have a healthy attachment to you. Again, I say that your child will be as attached to you as you want them to be. I'm not against baby wearing. It proved to be affective many times with my boys. But I do think it is wrong to say that if you don't "wear" your baby they won't be attached to you.

When it comes down to it, I don't really think any of the above things are wrong. I personally think some of them are crazy but don't really see any of them as being wrong. My issue with these type of posts on mommy blogs is the amount of judgment that is passed with the intention to make someone feel bad for their decision to mother a different way. To say that you shouldn't judge is wrong. Everyone has to judge to know if it is something that is right or wrong. Or something that works for them. What I do think is wrong is for someone to say that because they mother a certain way they are superior to someone else. I have lots of friends that mother differently than I do. They have healthy, happy babies. Just because someone doesn't agree with the way you mother your child doesn't make them a bad mother. Being a mother is difficult and each women needs to make decisions about parenting based on what helps them be the best mother they can be. If someone has a hard time breastfeeding and is so stressed out and depressed trying to figure it out that she can't put all her energy into caring for her baby, is she a bad mom for deciding to bottle feed so she can give her child the attention he needs? I don't think so. What I feel from some of these mothers is that they believe if you don't mother the way they do you are abusing your child. There is enough guilt that goes along with being a mother and a woman. Stop adding to someones guilt by making them feel they aren't as good a mother as you.

Unwritten Rules

2007-06-13T14:42:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot about the family rules that each family has. In one of my classes at BYU we talked about how each family has both "written" rules and "unwritten" rules. Written rules are pretty easy to identify. Examples of written rules are curfew is at 12:00; dinner is at 6:00; girls in our family wear one-piece swimming suits, etc. These are things that you all know and talk about. Will knows that when he is naughty he will sit on the naughty chair.

Unwritten rules are more difficult. It is often hard to separate them from the written rules. They are things that usually aren't talked about but everyone knows are a part of your family. So, examples of those are, What dad says is final; Don’t talk to mom when she is mad; Say whatever you think and feel as long as it's not negative; Don’t cry. Some of these rules are also customs and traditions. They are just things that are passed on and have happened since you can remember. In my house at Christmas we eat pizza for dinner. That isn't something my parents made as a rule in our house but one Christmas mom decided to make pizza because that is what we all wanted for dinner. From then on, we have always had pizza. My husband's family had an unwritten rule of always saying, "Thank you mom, that was great" after dinner even in they didn't like it.

These unwritten rules can be positive or negative. I have been thinking about the effect these rules have on us. Experiences in our lives contribute to these rules. And example in my husbands life is that growing up everyone was afraid to be around his mom when she was angry. Now that Mike and I are married, that unwritten rule in his family transferred to our marriage. When I am angry Mike will go and hide from me. That doesn't work for me. It has taken time and effort for both of us to break this cycle. He has had to trust that I won't yell at him when I am angry and I have had to prove to him that I will be kind to him even though I am angry.

Also with these rules come specific roles that we take on. The unwritten rule is that everyone has a role in the family and no one is to change their role. There may be "The Rebel" or "The Peacemaker." The problem comes when someone tries to break out of that role. For instance, take the sister that can't keep a job. When she gets a new job the first thing everyone thinks is, "She won't keep that job very long." Without even having a chance to prove she can keep the job it is assumed she can't. Or how about the boy that is a straight A student at school. They might feel pressured or guilty if they get an A- or a B. The child that is always rescued from problems continues to be rescued because they know someone will rescue them. The roles become a cycle. The family perpetuates the role so the person continues to do what they were doing before.

Not all roles have negative aspects about them. When my brother Ammon was born my parents were gone all the time. I was the oldest girl at home so I took on the role of stand-in mom. I made meals, watched the kids, cleaned, etc. That role transferred over even when I left home for college. Today my sisters still call or email asking for advice or a listening ear for their problems. This wasn't always a positive role for me to take on though. There came a time in college where I felt overwhelmed and felt I was taking on too much so that I couldn't focus on my own life and problems. I had to step back and re-evaluate that role. I had to recognize that my mom was home again (except she was working now) and that I wasn't needed to be the mom anymore. I could still listen and give support but I didn't have to be the one to solve all the problems.

The point is that these roles are meant to keep order and to keep the family together. Unfortunately, at the same time it compartmentalizes people so that they can't expand and be better. If everyone is happy with his/her role then there isn't a problem but families need to be able to recognize this is happening and evaluate if they are working for their family and if not, allow each person to define themselves.

The influence of religiosity on children

2007-06-02T19:28:00.000-07:00

"One of the most important influences on the religiosity of our youth is the spontaneous religious discussions in our homes. When we discuss the things we love most, not because they are scheduled--i.e., family home evening, prayer, or scripture study--but because they are so precious to us, they have a profound influence on our children." --Vaughn J. Featherstone

So first of all, I think it's important to know that religiosity is more than claiming a religion, it is the adherence to a religion, or the way you live your religion.

I'm interested in knowing two things. First, what influence does religiosity have on youth and second, what can I as a parent do to instill religiosity in my children? I looked up some stats about kids that had religiosity.

-Youth with a deeper religiosity were involved in less delinquency.

-Youth from religiously active families reported greater happiness in relationships with their fathers.

-Religiosity in youth creates higher self-esteem and a higher regard for other people.

-Positive characteristics and sense of being are also affected by religiosity.

So obviously I want my kids to have a deep religiosity. How can I help my kids have religiosity? Mike and I have a friend that says all the time that we are brain washing our children at church. He says that our kids do certain things just because we teach them that they should do it and that they aren't getting the opportunity to learn and act for themselves. I was thinking about that and remembered the part in the Book of Mormon where it talks about King Lamoni. In my mind it describes perfectly the process our kids should take to gain a testimony. Once you gain a testimony you will then make your religion a real day to day part of your life.

Alma goes to work for King Lamoni and saves the flocks from robbers. The King is really impressed in Alma for his integrity and his ability to cut off the arms of the robbers single handedly. So, he thinks Alma is the Great Spirit. He tells Alma that he will believe all his words (Alma 18:23). Alma begins telling him about God and about the gospel and King Lamoni believes him. He ends up falling to the ground in a passed out state and everyone thinks he is dead. The scriptures say that "he knew [Alma] that the dark veil of unbelief was being cast away from his mind, which was the light of the glory of God, which was a marvelous light of his goodness" (Alma 19:6). After he wakes up he teaches all the people of his kingdom the things he had learned.

There are a few things about the story of King Lamoni that I can apply to my kids gaining their own testimonies.

1. Just like King Lamoni my kids will begin by listening to my words and believing on my testimony.

2. Later they will have experiences that will lead them to know if what I have taught them is true or not.

3. Finally, the will believe for themselves and not have to believe just off of my testimony. They will in turn want to teach others the things they believe.

I think so things Mike and I will have to do to help this process happen is first find a balance between monitoring our kids behavior and controlling their behavior. They have to be given rules and consequences of breaking those rules. Then once we have taught those, they should be allowed to make decisions for themselves. I think as a parent this will be really hard. What parent wants their kids to make wrong choices?

Next Mike and I have to model positive behavior. We can't say one thing and do another. Our kids need to be able to listen to what we teach them and then see that we truly do believe what we are teaching them because we live those teachings.

Finally, we have to start teaching them from the minute they are born and realize that teaching takes time.

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Teaching positive body image to girls

2007-05-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

I think it is safe to say that the last ten months I have become somewhat obsessed with losing weight. I have never been one of the lucky women to have children and then immediately have a flat stomach. After this last baby I have been trying desperately to lose the baby weight, and have but still feel very fat.

I don't believe in "diets" because I think they are unhealthy and unrealistic. I do believe in a healthy lifestyle that involves exercise and healthy eating. For the last ten months I have exercised three to six times a week and made major improvements in the way we eat. While I feel healthier I have still been very frustrated with my appearance and have found myself to vocally complain to my husband about my body and weight in front of my boys. This is wrong! So, I've been thinking a lot about ways that I can show my boys, and eventually my girls if we have some, how to appreciate the bodies they have. I want them to hear me speak positively about my appearance and about the way I feel. I want them to also know that it is important to live a healthy lifestyle--one that includes exercise and healthy eating. I also want them to know that we are all created with different bodies and it's ok if we don't look like the next person.

I gleaned some good advice from a few different articles. One article pointed out that you first have to have a positive image of your own body. They say to ask yourself the following (my answers are off to the side):

Do I like my own body? I don't like how it looks but I am grateful for a body that works so well.
Do I keep negative feelings about my body to myself, rather than voicing them to others (especially my daughter)? No.
Am I satisfied with the way I look in clothes? No.
Do I diet frequently, and/or does my weight yo-yo up and down? No.

The article goes on to say:

Don’t talk negatively about your own body.
Try not to lose or gain weight dramatically, and don’t utilize fad diets.
Model healthy exercise behavior
Refrain from discussing your weight with your daughter.
Try not to hide your body from your daughter. I don't agree with walking around naked or in just your underwear so I don't agree with this one. I do think it's ok to wear swimming suits in front of your kids though.
Don’t criticize her clothes—even if you hate them! I think the exception to this is when the clothes are inappropriate or immodest.
Don’t be the food police
Encourage exercise of all kinds
Examine family eating habits
Don’t compare

The other article that I really enjoyed recommended that we make healthy choices about food and exercise. Get enough exercise to keep your body healthy. It said that we can educate ourselves about nutrition and how to read food labels to make the best choices. We should eat more breads, cereals, vegetables and fruits, and eat less junk food and fatty food. I think part of educating ourselves about nutrition is knowing what things are appropriate for our personal body type. Obviously, someone with diabetes (or someone with a family history of diabetes) needs to make different food choices than someone else.

Finally, rather than focusing on what your body looks like, focus on what your body does for you. I want to be able to apply all this advice to my life. I think, just like every new habit, that it is going to take a lot of time before it becomes something that happens automatically but eventually I will be able to do it.

http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/parent_teachgirlselfesteem.php

http://www.radiancemagazine.com/kids_project/girls_body.html

http://www.focusas.com/BodyImage.html

Money and kids

2007-05-07T18:54:00.000-07:00

Mike and I came from very different backgrounds as far as money is concerned. I had real anxiety issues as far as money goes. We would sit down to discuss our budget and I would get upset and walk out of the room. There are things from both sides of our families that we like and things that we don't want to continue in our own family. So, money is something that is discussed in our family often. In fact, I think Mike is obsessed with money. Recently, we were talking about some of the things we wanted to see happen with our children as far as money goes. Our boys are still little so we don't really have a firm idea of how we will go about teaching certain things but there are a few things we are sure about:

1. Our children will need to have a job. We don't expect our kids to work so much they can't succeed in school or have a social life, etc. I had to work through college and as a result spent so much time worrying about paying for my needs that I didn't have a lot of time for doing very well in my schooling. I did ok but it was always really hard to balance. Mike also worked but didn't have to work so much that he couldn't focus on his schooling. I'd like to see something like this happen with our children. We'd like them to know that we believe in working hard for what you own but also realize that we are available if they need us.

2. Our children will need to be saving for a mission, college, or marriage (or all of the above).

3. We will provide for the basic needs and some wants of our children but if they want more than we provide they will need to show us that a) they really need more than we are giving them or b) they will get a job to pay for the extra things the want. Obviously, some kids need more than others. Our teenagers will need more than our little kids. We will sit down with them at the beginning of each year and ask what things they anticipate needing for school, dates, clothes, etc. We will provide a certain amount of money and then they will need to cover the extra costs. I will not give my child any money he wants.

4. We will not have allowances for normal chores that need to be done. We will however, be fine with giving them money for extra chores if they need some extra money.

5. We will let them be an active part in our budgeting. I think it is really important for kids to see the way their parents handle money. Mike and I have a budget for different areas of our life. Clothes gets a certain amount, food another amount, etc. So, if our kids want more clothes than we have money budgeted for, they need to realize that money has to come from somewhere. We don't just have a tree in our backyard that we go pick money off of. We will have to take that money from somewhere else. So, by showing them the budget and helping them understand that we can't just buy things we want all the time hopefully, they will make wise spending choices and learn to budget.

6. We will teach them about credit cards. Credit cards aren't evil if you know how to use them. There will be a time when they will need to have a good credit report and they need to know how to make that happen. I taught some classes on credit cards to high school student when I was in college and I was amazed at how many kids were given credit cards but knew nothing about interest or anything.

7. Most importantly, we will teach them to pay their tithing. Not only do they need to learn the principle of tithing, but we need to teach them the blessings that will come to them if they live that commandment (I am not talking about just the material blessings). Tithing is a principle that allows us to be more like Christ. When you pay your tithing and give a generous fast offereing, you are in a sense, being like Christ and saving someone. Tithing is also a principle that helps us become more humble. Those that benefit from fast offerings have to humble themselves to accept the help. On the flip side, Elder Eyring once said that tithing is a principle that teaches the wealthy to be humble. If you don't understand the blessings that come from paying your tithing it can be hard to make the choice to give up your hard earned money. So, we will teach our kids to pay their tithing!

I read some good articles online that give some really easy ways that you can teach your kids about money. You can go here and also check this website out here. There are also some good books you can read if you are interested. I read them both and really enjoyed them. They are both a really easy read: The Millionare Next Door and, The Richest Man in Babylon. Mike read two books that he really enjoyed too but I can't remember the names of them so I will have to post those titles when he gets home.

Adultery

2007-04-25T18:17:00.000-07:00

I read an article on MSN a few months ago about some man that committed adultery. He wrote the article to explain why he committed adultery. He never actually answered that question in my opinion. Instead, the article was really an explanation of how it happened.

He said he tried to remove himself from the situation in an attempt to not do anything. Then he started sending her anonymous emails which eventually led to regular emails and correspondence. When his wife went out of town, the two got together and the rest is easy to imagine. Eventually he separated from his wife and his lover separated from her husband.

Some things he said were very interesting. First, he said this women and his wife were friends and colleagues. She looked like his wife, dressed like his wife, had the same career as his wife. He also said that his wife got over the separation quicker and easier than he did. He thought part of the reason was because they had no children. Finally, he said that while he and his wife got a divorce, his lover went back to her husband because she couldn't handle the social rejection she received from having an affair.

I found it really interesting that he had an affair with someone so similar to his wife. I wondered what he was missing with his wife that drove him to commit adultery with someone just like her. Did he find it in his lover?

Second, I thought about the importance of children in a marriage. While I would never tell a couple that is struggling in their marriage to have children in an attempt to save their marriage and solve their problems, I firmly believe that children unify a marriage. Having children requires putting your selfish desires aside as you realize you are responsible for a little body that needs love and protection.

At first when I read about his wife getting over the affair quicker, I was surprised. I mean, I thought that being cheated on would be a pretty hard thing to get over--that it would be hard to trust another man again and trust my abilities to make a man happy. However, on second thought, I realized that he was the one living in sin, and therefore, it makes perfect sense to me that he would be the one struggling with the separation. Not only did he have to deal with the divorce from his wife, but he didn't even stay with his lover.

I happened to read an article today that said those who divorce rarely end up with the person they were having the affair with. In one study done by Dr. Jan Halper only 3 percent of the 4,100 successful men surveyed eventually married their lovers. In the case where someone did marry their lover, Frank Pittman found that the divorce rate was 75 percent! The reasons for the high divorce rate include: intervention of reality, guilt, expectations, a general distrust of marriage, and a distrust of the affairee. You can't commit sin and think your life will be happy or your troubles solved.

In a magazine published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, called the Ensign, President James E. Faust wrote an excellent article about enriching a marriage. He said it is important for all married couples to ask themselves these questions regarding their marriage:

First, am I able to think of the interest of my marriage and spouse first before I think of my own desires?
Second, how deep is my commitment to my companion, aside from any other interests?
Third, is he or she my best friend?
Fourth, do I have respect for the dignity of my spouse as a person of worth and value?
Fifth, do we quarrel over money? Money itself seems neither to make a couple happy, nor the lack of it, necessarily, to make them unhappy. A quarrel over money is often a symbol of selfishness.
Sixth, is there a spiritually sanctifying bond between us?

The article is wonderful and I would encourage every married couple to read it. The link for the article is here.

Postpartum continued...

2007-04-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

Postpartum (PPD) defined:

Post-partum depression is severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs sometime in the first 4 weeks after delivery.

Symptoms:

Crying more that usual and feeling sad
Forgetfulness or problems concentrating
Feelings of being alone
Obsessive worries about the health of your child
Loss of interest in activities
Eating too little or too much
Withdrawl from friends and family
Problems sleeping

Risks:

previous postpartum depression
family history of a depression or a bipolar disorder
depressed during pregnancy
a history of premenstrual mood syndrome
Stressful situations that include marital tension, health problems with the baby, a complicated pregnancy or delivery, and a lack of social support

(American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Women's Health.gov)

Why I'm starting this blog

2007-04-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

I graduated in Marriage, Family, Human Development at BYU. I am now married and have two children. I thought perhaps a good way to use my major was to start a blog where I can post ideas, rants, questions, debates, etc. about marriage and family. I am not a perfect mom, nor am I a perfect wife. My children are only two and nine months, and I've been married less than five years. So to say I'm an expert would be silly. I do however, have a desire to be a great mom and a great wife and hope through the years that will happen. Anyway, this blog will be devoted to my quest to become that great mom and wife. I'll just choose topics that interest me or that I want to know more about.

Postpartum Depression

2007-04-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

The first topic I wanted to learn more about was postpartum depression. I thought to start I'd tell my story of having my first child and then include some of the things I searched from the Internet.

Becoming a mother didn't exactly start out smoothly for me. I was blessed to get pregnant quickly and carry the baby without any problems. My mom and sister never had problems with nausea so I unrealistically expected to have the same experience. Instead, I threw up for five and a half months and then for the rest of the pregnancy just felt nauseated. I hated being pregnant. When the baby came I thought all my troubles were solved! Two weeks after Will was born he started crying for six hours at a time, and the rest of the time was just whiny. He took an hour to eat just a few ounces and never slept. It was miserable and depressing. People say they know how you feel but really, until they experience a baby with colic they really have no clue what you are going through. They say things to people which inevitably get back to you (a good reason not to gossip, I'd say). I got comments ranging from "It's ok if your baby cries, I understand. So and so cried for 15 minutes straight last night and it was awful." Because 15 minutes compares to six hours of crying. Another favorite was when Will would make a liar out of me and be perfect in front of other people. Then I would get comments like, "I don't know what you are talking about....Will doesn't cry very much."

On top of the fact that I had a new baby with colic (we found out later he had reflux), I have seizures and was reassured my medicine (Zonegran) was ok to take while breastfeeding. After feeding him for two months I was then told that the medicine was not ok and that I needed to stop breastfeeding him. My neurologist told me I couldn't just stop cold turkey because he was getting my medicine and if he were predisposed to having seizures he would start having a permanent seizure. I was freaked out about poisoning my son. I had to pump and wean him over a period of six weeks and then my neurologist decided to take me off the medicine completely. Also weighing heavily on my mind was the fact that my husband was leaving to Officer Training School for three months. I would be moving to live with his parents and then we would all move to Oklahoma. The final stressor was that Mike was in the bishopric and in his last semester of school at BYU and therefore, never home.

To give you an idea of how I was feeling, I'll include bits from my journal:

March 31, 2005
The doctor said he will grow out of it within 3-6 months. I honestly don't know how I will do it...I never expected being a parent to be easy but I didn't understand it would be like this....It is truly difficult....

April 15, 2005
...I wish I could say things had improved as far as his crying went. They haven't. He cries most of the time-or whines. It's awful. I don't know how to help him or make it better. Everything is confusing and hard for me right now.

May 9, 2005
I wish I knew what to say...Not a lot has changed. A few things and for those things I am grateful. I am not nursing anymore....also an improvement is that Will is smiling a little each day. Besides that, he continues to cry as much as before. He doesn't let us put him down much. He now has blood in his stools because his bowel movements are so hard to pass.

May 11, 2005
The last two months have been so hard for me. I feel I have been stretched to my limits...I have had such a hard time with Will's crying that I have become angry at Will, Mike, the Lord, and all those not as unfortunate as us. It is wrong and I know it. Even in my anger I know it is wrong... I know Will isn't crying on purpose but after hours of his continual crying I don't know how to behave anymore...I have questioned my desire to have more kids which has filled me with sadness and guilt. I've cried more in the last two months than I ever have in my entire life.

May 16, 2005
Will has been crying since he woke up at 7:30. It is now 11:30...When will this ever end?

June 5, 2005
It has been a hard year. I have been praying for humility, love, unselfishness, and patience. I have been praying for Will to get better. I do not know when it will get happen...I know things will improve. I am feeling my love for William increase and I am so thankful for that. Love allows me to deal with his crying.

I don't normally make a habit of letting people read parts (well, any) of my journal because obviously, it is personal. However, I think it is important to share how someone dealing with depression feels.

At Will's two month appointment I told the doctor that he needed to do something for Will or he needed to do something for me. He felt I didn't have postpartum but rather, circumstantial depression. He said he would give me medicine if I wanted it but didn't think I needed it. So, Mike and I opted against it.

Things the second time around were a thousand times better but I still suffered some baby blues. There were a few things I learned after Will (and a few I've learned since Isaac) that I believe improved the situation. Of course, eliminating stressors like colic, moves, medicine, etc. also improved the situation.

Some of the things I found to work were having support, exercising, finding things to be grateful for and writing them down, stop worrying about what other mothers think, and finding opportunities to get away from the kids. Most importantly, a belief and faith in God.

There are some really great websites that provide info about postpartum and what things to do if you have it. Some of the things I researched are worth sharing. I will only include ways to treat it but you can find information about the risks and causes of postpartum all over the Internet.

If you have it there seems to be three ways to treat it--hormone therapy, medicine, and self-care.

Self Care:

1. Surround yourself with supportive family members and friends, and ask for their help in caring for the baby.
2. Take care of yourself. Get as much rest as you can. Nap when the baby naps.
3. Try not to spend much time alone.
4. Spend some time alone with your husband or partner.
5. Take a shower and get dressed every day.
6. Get out of the house. Take a walk, see a friend, do something you enjoy. Get someone to take care of the baby if you can; if you can’t, take the baby with you.
7. Don’t expect too much from yourself. Don’t worry too much about the housework. Ask friends and family for help.
8. Talk to other mothers. You can learn from each other, and their experiences can be reassuring.
9. If the depression persists for longer than 2 weeks or is very deep, talk to your health care provider. Self-care alone is not recommended.
10. Make healthy lifestyle choices. Rest as much as you can. Exercise regularly. Try daily walks with your baby. Eat healthy foods — plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Avoid alcohol.
11. Set realistic expectations. Don't pressure yourself to do everything. Scale back your expectations for the perfect household. Do what you can and leave the rest. Ask for help when you need it.
12. Make time for yourself. If you feel like the world is coming down around you, take some time for yourself. Get dressed, leave the house and visit a friend or run an errand. Or schedule some time alone with your partner.
13. Avoid isolation. Talk with your partner, family and friends about how you're feeling. Ask other mothers about their experiences. Ask your doctor about local support groups for new moms or women with postpartum depression.

Most of this info came from the Mayo Clinic website and Women's Health.gov