Mike and I came from very different backgrounds as far as money is concerned. I had real anxiety issues as far as money goes. We would sit down to discuss our budget and I would get upset and walk out of the room. There are things from both sides of our families that we like and things that we don't want to continue in our own family. So, money is something that is discussed in our family often. In fact, I think Mike is obsessed with money. Recently, we were talking about some of the things we wanted to see happen with our children as far as money goes. Our boys are still little so we don't really have a firm idea of how we will go about teaching certain things but there are a few things we are sure about:
1. Our children will need to have a job. We don't expect our kids to work so much they can't succeed in school or have a social life, etc. I had to work through college and as a result spent so much time worrying about paying for my needs that I didn't have a lot of time for doing very well in my schooling. I did ok but it was always really hard to balance. Mike also worked but didn't have to work so much that he couldn't focus on his schooling. I'd like to see something like this happen with our children. We'd like them to know that we believe in working hard for what you own but also realize that we are available if they need us.
2. Our children will need to be saving for a mission, college, or marriage (or all of the above).
3. We will provide for the basic needs and some wants of our children but if they want more than we provide they will need to show us that a) they really need more than we are giving them or b) they will get a job to pay for the extra things the want. Obviously, some kids need more than others. Our teenagers will need more than our little kids. We will sit down with them at the beginning of each year and ask what things they anticipate needing for school, dates, clothes, etc. We will provide a certain amount of money and then they will need to cover the extra costs. I will not give my child any money he wants.
4. We will not have allowances for normal chores that need to be done. We will however, be fine with giving them money for extra chores if they need some extra money.
5. We will let them be an active part in our budgeting. I think it is really important for kids to see the way their parents handle money. Mike and I have a budget for different areas of our life. Clothes gets a certain amount, food another amount, etc. So, if our kids want more clothes than we have money budgeted for, they need to realize that money has to come from somewhere. We don't just have a tree in our backyard that we go pick money off of. We will have to take that money from somewhere else. So, by showing them the budget and helping them understand that we can't just buy things we want all the time hopefully, they will make wise spending choices and learn to budget.
6. We will teach them about credit cards. Credit cards aren't evil if you know how to use them. There will be a time when they will need to have a good credit report and they need to know how to make that happen. I taught some classes on credit cards to high school student when I was in college and I was amazed at how many kids were given credit cards but knew nothing about interest or anything.
7. Most importantly, we will teach them to pay their tithing. Not only do they need to learn the principle of tithing, but we need to teach them the blessings that will come to them if they live that commandment (I am not talking about just the material blessings). Tithing is a principle that allows us to be more like Christ. When you pay your tithing and give a generous fast offereing, you are in a sense, being like Christ and saving someone. Tithing is also a principle that helps us become more humble. Those that benefit from fast offerings have to humble themselves to accept the help. On the flip side, Elder Eyring once said that tithing is a principle that teaches the wealthy to be humble. If you don't understand the blessings that come from paying your tithing it can be hard to make the choice to give up your hard earned money. So, we will teach our kids to pay their tithing!
I read some good articles online that give some really easy ways that you can teach your kids about money. You can go here and also check this website out here. There are also some good books you can read if you are interested. I read them both and really enjoyed them. They are both a really easy read: The Millionare Next Door and, The Richest Man in Babylon. Mike read two books that he really enjoyed too but I can't remember the names of them so I will have to post those titles when he gets home.
4 comments:
Adam had me read Rich Dad, Poor Dad and that was a good book to help me understand why Adam sometimes goes into debt (and takes risks) in order to generate income. I grew up always spending very frugally and hate debt as a rule.
I think budgets are really good. I have to admit that I don't have one, because Adam doesn't care what I spend because he knows I rarely buy stuff beyond needs and tiny wants.
I remember a church lesson once in RS where the teacher said you shouldn't have credit cards. How silly! If you have self-control, credit cards can be good if you pay them off each month in that you can build your credit, reap CC rewards/points, and not have to deal with cash lying around. I only use my CC, but actually, it's a charge card, which is even better. You have to pay it off each month! That's what parents should get for their kids if they're going to help them out when they go to college or whatever.
I've always respected my parents' take on having a job. We got jobs during the summer, but we didn't have to have a job during the school year so we could spend more time on our studies and earning scholarships. Of course, not all parents can afford everything their children need, so sometimes kids have to work, but I think when kids are young the emphasis should be on schoolwork rather than earning $5/hour.
Teaching kids to work (even around the house) could be another interesting post, Adrianne. We're not supposed to do everything for our children; they need to learn responsibility, good work ethic, etc.
Marcy, Rich Dad, Poor Dad was the book Mike read that he really liked. He read a book that said if you want to be wealthy you have to ask your wife first. So one night he came to me and asked me if I wanted to be wealthy and made me say it out loud. It was funny but I think that was one of the turning points for us. I realized that for Mike to reach his financial goals, I needed to support him.
When Mike went to OTS I was responsible for all the finances and I was really worried at first because up until that point he was primarilly responsible for the money. I'm really grateful that I was put in charge for those three months because now in case of an emergency, I know all our accounts and could take over without too much trouble if I needed to. I think it is really important for both husband and wife to share responsibility for money.
The thing I think is probably most important though, is to be united in your spending habits and beliefs. Money issues are one of the leading reasons for divorce so obviously there are a lot of couples that don't agree on what to do with money!
dude! i wish i'd read this post a month ago when i was still thinking "man, we owe some on our credit cards anyway, what difference will another tshirt from walmart make?"
arggghh
oh, hey Marcy, i worked a lot during high school, but mom and dad did help too. maybe they made that rule after i graduated?
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